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August 4, 2006
The Crazy Things Tourists Do
In response to a request, here is a list of the (theoretically) crazy things that tourists do, which I have personally observed (and possibly made up). The parenthetical remarks are in respectful deference to the job I wish to keep; therefore, you will have to wonder whether these are true, or not.
The Crazy Things Tourists Do:
* Locking their keys in their car, which is still running and contains a toddler at large inside
* Approaching and touching a bison, which, in turn, flings them into a nearby tree
* Placing their young child on the back of a grizzly bear so as to set up a perfect photo shoot
* Going for an afternoon canoe or kayak on a large, cold, deep lake that has wind and waves without a life preserver
* Robbing a bank, coming to hide out in the wilderness, and blowing their cover by hitting an elderly gentleman's car
* Stepping over and subsequently falling from a wall built to protect them from a large cliff to get a better scenery picture
* Going for a hike without buying a map or knowing how to use the map they bought, and wondering why they got lost
* Parking in the middle of the road and blocking all traffic movement for a photo of a marmot
* Going on vacation to the wilderness when immanently pregnant
* Putting one's hand/leg/whole body into a thermal feature labeled with a sign that reads, "Boiling Water, Dangerous"
* Getting drunk, wandering aimlessly into the woods, getting briefly lost, passing out, waking up at daylight the next morning to walk back out safely
Need I say more? Alas, I've just finished 7 days and 89 hours of work, so I get a break from these silly people.
My running is going so well, I just can't stand it. There is nothing wrong with my calf muscle anymore. I can't recall the last time that I didn't run on either a trail or a dirt road. I've made concerted efforts to run at elevation, everything above 5300 feet and some runs above 8000. I'm spending more time-on-feet. Thus, my current state of running feels great, and the running horizon out there looks good as well.
My mother arrives tomorrow, and we're about to have a girls' week in the mountains. The last time my mom and I camped together (She'll kill me for tellling this story.), we were at a campground in Texas. My dad and I were cooking dinner and my mom went into the tent to put on warm clothes. She left the tent upzipped a bit, and a waddling skunk followed her in. Luckily, all parties remained calm and the skunk left as quick as he/she showed up. My mom came out of the tent and said, "Tomorrow night we're going to a hotel." Sure enough, that's the last time we camped as a family.
As we were planning this trip, my mother waned a bit on the idea of camping, but she came around after a while. We will compromise healthily, by staying also in cabins and hotels. While both of my parents were and are great adventurers, I think my dad liked the outdoors just a bit more than my mom. I suspect a part of why she wants to camp is to get close to the things that my dad loved. I can't wait to wander in the mountains together with her, and to feel my dad so close.
Posted by Meghan at August 4, 2006 1:44 AM
Comments
I hope you have a wonderful time with your mother!
Posted by: Caitlin at August 4, 2006 6:05 AM
Have fun with Mom!
And I used to have this shirt from a Colorado EMS group that listed 8 stupid things tourists do (Touch the bears!) and then had at the bottom, "Thanks for keeping us in business!"
Posted by: Audrey at August 4, 2006 6:39 AM
I know the one about stopping in the middle of the road for photo ops is true - that happens all the time in Rocky Mountain. What a funny list!
I hope you and your mom have a wonderful time.
Posted by: barb at August 7, 2006 10:20 AM
have a great trip, m. enjoy the time with your mom.
just remind her to zip up the tent...
Posted by: jeff at August 7, 2006 2:34 PM
Here's my dopey tourist story: This is not made up. About 12 years ago a group of friends and I ran a double-crossing of the Grand Canyon in one day. (Fabulous experience, by the way.) On the way down to the river (Kaibab trail) in the first several miles, we happened upon a group of slightly chubby teenagers from Dallas, TX., who were going to try and hike down to Phantom ranch, and back up the Bright Angel trail, in one day. A girl who was wearing only flip-flop sandals (really) to hike in had twisted her ankle, and was sitting on the side of the trail. It was a minor sprain, so after some dramatics, decided that she would soldier on. (She was fine, but I wonder what her feet were like later on.) One of the kids asked: "Where are the water fountains?" They had not thought of bring any water with them. After explaining that there were no such luxuries on that particular stretch of trail, we gave them most of our water, to help them be able to make it to the camp at the bottom of the canyon. We went on our way. About 11 hours later, as we were on the way up the Bright Angel trail on our return trip, about 2.5 miles from the top, we smelled a burning plastic-like smell. About 5 minutes later we came upon the same group. The teenagers had made it to the bottom, rested for a while, and continued hiking back up the Bright Angel trail to the South Rim. WITHOUT WATER! AGAIN! (Temps in the canyon were in the mid-90's that day.) The burning plastic was a nylon tent that they had just completely destroyed by setting on fire with a small camping stove that none of them had ever used before. Since they were all completely exhausted and dehydrated from having no water, they thought it would be a good idea to stop in the middle of the trail, set up the (brand new) tent, set up the cook stove *inside* the tent, and heat a couple cans of soup they had brought with them. (They said they only ate a few candy bars and apples at Phantom Ranch.) Of course, these Einsteins set the tent on fire, and since they had no water, couldn't put the fire out. (Again, I am not making this up.) Why these people decided to do a "day" hike in the Grand Canyon, and schlep along a tent and camp stove, but not bring ANY water along, boggles my mind to this day. We tried to convince them to make the final climb to the top, it was only 2.5 miles to go, but they said they were too tired to go on. (I believe it, they were a wreck.) They said that they were going to huddle together in a group and sleep on the trail. (It gets down to about 50 degrees at night that time of year.) We gave them the rest of our water, and made the final climb out of the canyon by the light of a full moon.
At the South Rim, after we finished (about 10pm), we heard that apparently the teens told people they were going to be done their hike by 4pm on the day they left, so someone got concerned when they never showed up, and called for a search and rescue. Search and rescue missions cost $1,700 or so, (at the time) so i imagine that there were a few parents that were not too happy. BTW, the girl with the flip-flops was nowhere to be seen when we came upon them the second time...
Posted by: The Dude at August 7, 2006 8:23 PM
On this combination-post I could only think of perhaps how Kemibe would have posted his thoughts...
Posted by: corrado giambalvo at August 8, 2006 8:59 AM