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May 9, 2006
Getting Out of My Slump!
I have been a bit lost since the last weekend in April or so when I attempted to do a 100k race. The conditions were horrible, rainy, wet, and cold. It was pouring the entire time. I was so fortunate because a running friend from my former running club, Glen Redpath was at the race so that meant I would have company. However, from the start I did not feel right. My bad leg was sore and cramped up the entire time. I had a very difficult time relaxing and my hip and entire left leg felt numb from running on pavement and the combination of weather that felt like it was under 40 degrees. It was probably in the 40's but it felt like it was in the 30's. Usually if I only have to deal with one obstacle such as the soreness and achiness in my leg I can stay focused on the race. However, when you add another harsh element such as weather or at times being unfit that just complicates matter. I stayed in the race for 24 miles or so and then stopped. It is a bit silly because I could have at least run the 50k and ran one more lap around the lake but I was so worried that I would not even be able to drive home. I was freezing. It took me over an hour to warm up in someone's car after the race. I was really disappointed but I knew I would not feel good at all when I finished and I knew my leg would be really sore for the next week because of the mileage that I did do. I was also frustrated because I ran the 20+ miles faster than I would have to stay with Glen. I told him several times to go ahead but he was determined to have company for as long as he could because he was doing the 50 mile run. Now that I am removed from the situation I can't believe I did not do another lap but I felt so much pressure running with someone else and especially since when I used to run with Glen I was faster and much fitter and on this day I was suffering, negative the entire race, and feeling hurt and injured the entire way. To me, this is not what I want my racing experiences to be like. It should be hard and you should have to push yourself but you should not feel like you are suffering. I spent the rest of day totally spent, a bit disappointed, but mostly relieved.
I really do not feel ready for the 100 mile race and have decided not to do it. I hope in the future my quad is in a better state so that I am not always thinking about the pain I feel in it or I hope I can get fit enough so that I can ignore it for a longer period of time. I have been really depressed about not running it but I just don't want to run it to finish it. I want to run it and feel good and feel in control and lately because of the long lay offs I have had after super long runs or tough training days I just don't think that is a reality.
I have run the last two weeks but with very little focus and in general have been quite down about my decision. I was so excited because it was a personal goal I had and one that I felt I could do and wanted to do. I then realized that maybe physically I really could not do it and mentally maybe I was not ready for it.
I need to figure out what to do next. I'd like to find some fun and exciting marathons that are on trails and in really unique places and maybe plan to do a marathon in the late summer and one in the fall.
In the meantime this week I am trying to refocus and get back to some degree of training. I ran 20 miles on Sunday on some of the best trails I have run on in Vermont. I ran in the Northeast Kingdom in Burke. There are miles and miles of mountain bike trails. The run felt so easy because the trails were so clear and easy to run on. I ran with Sue Johnston a very good ultrarunner who lives in VT. It was inspiring to run with her. The trails are a little over an hour away but I think I can make my way over there at least once a week for an adventure and some added inspiration. I do want to get back to track workouts and do some strength training because even in just two weeks my fitness has decreased.
I will be back to keeping my blog because I feel a bit more inspired. I just needed some time to accept my decision not to do the race. I hope I get the inspiration, motivation, and fitness back to try another race like that in the near future.
Posted by mary at May 9, 2006 12:17 PM
Comments
Aww, Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that you had a bad race. While I was sitting here reading your entry, I could hear the wind whipping around outside and the rain is coming down hard. I can't imagine running 20 miles in this, let alone 31 on trails.
I was thinking about good days and bad days recently, and I think one of the hardest things about the bad days is not the actual physical effort (which is hard, too) but knowing that on a good day, it wouldn't feel anywhere near as bad.
I've had injuries before which I could run through, but the most frustrating part about them was that they prevented me from training the way I wanted to train, so I knew that I was never going to do my best while injured.
Good luck finding the next goal, and I'm sorry that your body hasn't been cooperating.
The trails in Burke sound great...Maybe just what you need to bring your spirits back up.
Posted by: Alison at May 9, 2006 1:05 PM
I second Alison's comment. Sorry you had a bad race and are down about your running right now - but I'm sure once you find that next goal and are able to look ahead, you'll be back at it! We've all been in slumps before and we've all gotten out - I know it will be no different for you.
As for running with/training through an injury - oh boy do I know how that feels! It's frustrating at best, down right depressing at worst but I keep telling myself that it will either get better and I'll be able to train again like I want to OR it will keep hurting and I'll just get used to it over time. :) Don't let yourself get down about it - see it for what it really is!
Thinking about you and sending good running vibes your way!
Posted by: Beth at May 9, 2006 8:42 PM
tough account to read. Second A's thought on great trails to run on: sort of makes me feel like going for a nice run right now!! Bests corrado :)
Posted by: corrado giambalvo at May 11, 2006 8:20 AM
Hi Mary, I"m glad you are motivated and back to blogging and running again. IT sounds like if you take it day to day and find a new type of goal, race, something totally different that's hard to measure/compare that'll be the right fit. I'm thinking of you and looking forward to some adventures soon. xxx Liz
Posted by: Liz at May 12, 2006 1:13 PM
When I was reading that, I was also thinking about how crappy bad days are. There are sometimes things that are completely out of our control that turn it into a bad day. One of the worst things is sometimes you just don't know what it is that creates it.
I am continually impressed at your ability to run such long distances with less than ideal circumstances. I'm happy that you are going to write some more.
By the way, congratulations on that little secret that Alison let out the other day, best wishes!
Blondie
Posted by: Blondie at May 13, 2006 2:19 PM