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October 16, 2005

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Before I ramble on in my sorrows, I will cut to the chase for those of you who happen upon this and do not want to read the long sad story that I am sure I am about to type out. This weekend I had my first DNF in the fifty-mile race that I attempted to run in VA.

The trip began on the wrong foot. I dashed out of school on Thursday afternoon to make it to the airport in time for my 8:00 p.m. flight out of Manchester, N.H. I arrived at the airport much too early, around 5:30 which was fine because it gave me time to grade papers. As soon as I checked in, I realized my flight was delayed until 11 p.m. I would not arrive in Philadelphia until 11 p.m. I was very annoyed about this fact because I felt as if I could have just driven to Delaware where I was eventually going to meet my friend in the total amount of time that this trip was ultimately going to take me. I used the time to grade papers and brainstorm training ideas with my twin sister, Liz, over the phone. After what seemed like hours, I eventually boarded the plane and was happy to finally be "off" on my trip. My best friend and her husband picked me up at the airport at midnight and we arrived to their home a little after 12:30. Soon afterwards, we all went to bed.

I had the opportunity to sleep in on Friday but for some reason I could not sleep. My two friends had to leave the house early to work 1/2 days each so I had the entire house to myself. However, at 7:00 a.m. I was wide-awake. I tried to sleep or at least rest but finally gave up at 8 a.m. when I woke up officially and took a long hot shower. My friend returned to the house around 10:30 and we went to go do some errands. One of our errands included me getting my haircut, which was very overdue. Not feeling very confident about the race I figured loosing a few inches of hair would make me "faster". I also had my eyebrows hot waxed and trimmed. For anyone who knows me they know this is not me at all. My friend convinced me to try it so I tried it because she promised me it did not hurt. Guess what, it hurts? Every time they pull, the paper off it definitely aches. Afterwards the area is sore and your eyebrows feel achy for a while. Yet, I should admit after an hour or so I did not even remember that I had gotten it done. They did not do anything dramatic. They just trimmed the area. My friend asked me if I was up for a bikini wax. I think I would have to be in a heightened state to go for that knowing how painful the eyebrow wax was. After our errands, we picked up lunch and my friends husband and were on our way to Lynchburg, VA.

We left for VA around 1 p.m. and were hoping to arrive to the pre-race dinner around 6 p.m. Traffic through D.C. was a nightmare, slow and congested. We then realized that the main road through VA was not really a highway but rather a route and we were on a stop and go mission for about 120 miles. This was a very long stretch and we all felt like we would never get to our destination. This part of the trip was very long but I have to admit I had great company and great music.

When we finally arrived at the pre-race event packet pick up and registration dinner was over. There was plenty of cold pizza left so I had a slice of cold cheese pizza and met my friend Krissy from Montrail. I picked up my number and saw the competition. I saw at least three very competitive women who would be in the event and immediately did not feel prepared. My friends left at this point and I spent the night with my friend Krissy and at the race director's house. They were both confident I would do quite well in the race despite my admission that I was not in the greatest shape ever. I appreciated their confidence but only wished I could fully absorb it. When we arrived to the race director's house, Dave Horton, who just this summer set the Pacific Coast Speed Distance Record (67 days) (http://www.montrail.com/assets/Misc%20Copy/horton_log.htm)we had some ice cream and watched the trailer to a movie that is to be made about the this record called, The Runner. This was quite exciting and fun. Unfortunately, it was late and I had to go to bed right after the short pre-view and had no time at all for questions.

Unfortunately, I did not sleep a wink all night long. I was scheduled to get up at 4 a.m. to take the bus to the start. The course was an out and back course. The race director and my friend Krissy were basically up all night long figuring out logistics and the top male runner, Dave Mackey, was arriving late in the evening (1 a.m. or so) so the house was bustling. I was downstairs and could not hear anything but I still felt extremely restless and found myself looking at my watch every twenty minutes to find out what time it was. I was trying not to worry about not sleeping but I was getting more anxious as the time went by. When 4 a.m. finally arrived, I was relieved to get up, get dressed, and leave for the race.

I drove to the busses with Dave Mackey and had my first pre-race coffee ever. It was so early and my body was exhausted from barely any sleep in over two days that I knew I would need some type of external adrenaline. The coffee definitely helped. I was not too worried about any side effects because I usually have it before work these days and I still had two hours before my race when I drank it. I also ate a bagel with some peanut butter and drank some water. When we arrived to the race start, it was 5:30 a.m. and we still had an hour to go before the race began. I decided to try to nap, I could not. I remember how easily I slept and soundly before the NY City marathon last year. Where was my relaxation for this race? I went to the bathroom several times and was very happy when race time finally arrived.

The first six or seven miles of the course are all roads. The very first three miles consists of an out and back section. I discovered this right before we started. I also knew I was in the Bible belt when a prayer was said before the race began. It was pitch dark when the race began at 6:30 in the morning. When we began I decided to keep one woman in site who I know is quite accomplished and a very smart runner, Anne Rhiddle (she now has a married name which is different). I paced off her for the first four miles until I saw that we were running a speedy 7 minute pace. I did not want to leave myself exhausted for the end so I backed off and I backed off at the right time because the next two miles were straight up hill. As soon as I hit the uphill, I felt dead and had no energy. I tried not to worry about it but I could not help the stale feeling I felt overall and the lack of "spring" that I had. I attributed this feeling to the road and decided that once we hit the trails I would feel great. After about 6 or 7 miles, we hit the first trail. I was relieved to get off the pavement because I was feeling so flat.

The trail was a single-track trail that was all up hill for about three or four miles. Just as I entered the trail, I heard someone say that I was 7 minutes behind the lead woman. I was surprised to already be 7 minutes behind the leader when I was only 7 miles into the race. That disappointed me but I held onto the hope that I would feel better on the trail and that the leader may slow down, as I remained steady. My legs did not respond any better on the trail. I tried to stay positive and enjoy the scenery but I was terribly distracted by my lack of energy. I decided to try some poweraid combination drink at the next aid station. This seemed to help a bit. For the next 4 or 5 miles, the trail was constantly up and down on a rocky old fire road. We were traveling along the trails that parallel the Blue Ridge highway. I imagine this is a fantastic place for mountain biking (not very technical - but miles of open fire roads). I caught up to the 4th place woman who I recognized and was relieved to run with her for the next 5 miles or so. It helped to run with her because we got to talk and I got a feeling for the rest of the course. She, Regina, warned me that the mile markers were off and to expect more time in between aid stations then were actually denoted on the signs.

As the miles continued, the grades became steeper and longer. I realized that the only thing we were doing was climbing up long windy grades or pounding down the same type of grades. My stomach was cramping up. I think I was really nervous and uptight because I was not really racing. The stress of the experience was eating at my stomach. I felt like I was getting one side stitch after another. This happens to me if I get anxious or if I get excited in a race. Sometimes when I have had great races I get a stitch with about three or four miles to go because I am so excited. The adrenaline gets me through it. In this instance, I found myself annoyed and trying to ignore it in hopes that it would go away.

After a very slow 20 miles, 3 hours and 15 minutes I began to try to calculate my pace and tried to imagine what the rest of the race would feel like. Already my bad quad was entirely cramped up and my foot and ankle were numb from the constant climbing, I was thinking more about the finish than the actual race experience, I could not eat anything at the aid station (nothing really appealed to me and usually something does), and my achy legs were telling me to stop. I decided that if I saw my friends at the next aid station, mile 27, I would see how if my motivation, energy level improved. If my energy level had improved I would continue with the race or if I did not see them. However, if my energy decreased or remained the same I would drop out and stop agonizing over the event.

For the next seven miles, nothing really improved. It got to the point where I was jogging up the hills and everyone around me was walking. I gave in and started to walk. I asked the others around me if this would be the case for the rest of the race. The runners told me that they would not be running up any of the long climbs. The thought of walking up all of the remaining hills did not appeal to me. I was becoming surer of the fact that I would drop out when I saw my friends. As soon as I saw my friends at mile 27, I broke down and asked them if they would be hugely disappointed if I dropped out. They were supportive and asked me why. I told them I was dead and did not want to spend another 5 or 6 hours pounding my legs only to make them sorer and be disappointed with the outcome. After ten minutes of deliberating, I signed myself out of the race. I felt a huge sense of relief and a great sense of sadness and disappointment.

I was disappointed that I sort of predicted my own fate because of a negative attitude I had about the race. I was disappointed that I had not properly prepared. Usually when I get into a big race that I am training for I can arrive on race day and feel that I have trained just as hard as anyone there has if not harder. In this case, I did not feel that way at all. I felt ill prepared, unprofessional, and already burnt out. I was relieved to have the opportunity to step away from the experience, reflect on it, and move forward.

In retrospect, I felt a lot of pressure to run certain races this year and never really took the time to properly prepare for them. I tried to rely on my own inner strength and mental capabilities and took for granted what consistent well-rounded training does for you. It has been at least a year since I have done serious interval training and I know that has hurt me. I have also not attempted to really push myself on my long distance training runs.

I realized in this attempt to run the 50-mile race that I am not just content with finishing. I want to enter a race and push myself as hard as I can all the time. If I cannot enter a race and do that then I do not think I should be in the race. On a side note, running through a marathon is different. I do use many marathons as training runs and feel that I set realistic goals. For ultra marathons because I only do 3 or 4 a year and sometimes less I do want to make sure that I maximize my training.

I made a mistake trying to do back to back weekend races. I think doing a marathon a month before an ultra is fine but trying to squeeze one in between that window is too much mentally and physically. I realized more than ever the importance of mental strength during Saturday's race attempt. Running for over two hours requires a great deal of mental concentration and stamina. It is not something that one always has and to be able to focus for that long and push yourself when there is a piece of you that asks why and why not just stop now you have to be mentally fresh and confident. All of the little pieces of your life have to be in place and make sense.

The more balanced you are the more focused you will be in the event. I was taking a gamble that maybe I would feel good. I am not any kind of gambler. I love adventures and challenges but I know I have to prepare myself. I cannot take away the disappointment that I feel nor can I go back and change what I did to prepare for this event. All I can do is learn from it and move forward.

In the future, I do want to be specific and identify exactly what my main goals are for the year. I want to train accordingly and make adjustments when appropriate. I will never completely stick to a schedule because I love the spontaneous nature of running. However, I know I can stick to mileage goals and workout goals and that I intend to do in the coming year. Running provides me with a huge sense of accomplishment and sense of self. Dropping out of this event left me feeling empty and questioning myself. I will not announce that I will never drop out again because I think anything can happen and I think sometimes the wisest decision is to drop out. However, I do want to vow to train harder for the races that I am supposedly eyeing and go in prepared, knowing that I have trained just as hard as those around me.

I plan to take a bit of a break from running over the next two weeks. I will run but mostly for social purposes and not feel any real obligation to get up and run and train. During this time, I want to think a lot about the races I will be running and training for next year. I already know that I am going to train for the Boston marathon first and aim to run a personal record there, under 3:06, which is the time I got the last time I ran the Boston marathon. This will give me the opportunity to get back to speed workouts and weight lifting again. From there I would like to focus on a few ultra races to race and be competitive in. I definitely feel really drained and worn out right now and hope that I can rally myself up again to better and wiser training.

Posted by mary at 3:10 PM | Comments (5)

October 14, 2005

Taper Week

Tuesday's A.M. Six Miler

On Tuesday morning I got up and ran the lake loop with a two mile add up up the fire road towards Elmore Mountain. I felt pretty good and ran down the fire road at a good pace. The morning was crisp and I had to wear a long sleeve shirt.

Wednesday's Rough 5 miler

On Wednesday I met with my friend Jen to run a 5 mile loop. I did not feel that great when I met her. My stomach was turning and I had to go to the bathroom about three times during the run. It was not a great feeling. I did not think that I ate anything unusual during the day so I am not sure why I felt so bad. I could not focus on how my legs felt because I was so distracted by my stomach. I really just wanted the run to be over. If I had not had company I doubt I would have run.

Thursday's A.M. 4 mile run around Lake Elmore

On Thursday morning I ran an easy four miles around the lake. The morning was beautiful and I was able to see the sun rise. I timed my last mile and saw that I was running an 8 minute pace which was just what I wanted to run. It felt easy and relaxed which is how I wanted it to feel.

On Thursday after school I drove to the Manchester Airport. I over estimated how long it would take and gave myself more time than I would need. I arrived two hours before the plane was supposed to leave only to find out that my flight was delayed until 11 p.m. I was so frustrated. I waited in the airport from 6 until 11 for my plane to arrive. I was able to grade some papers and catch up on some phone calls. For a one hour flight to Philidelphia though I was quite disappointed because the amount of time the total trip took me I could have just driven to Delaware where I am staying today on Friday.

Friday's Day Off

Today I am in DE until noon and then my friends and I will drive to Lynchburg, VA for the fifty mile race. I decided to take the day off mostly because I realized that I only brought one pair of running clothes. I got about 7 hours of sleep. I was hoping to sleep a little bit more but when I woke up I was so thirsty that I decided to get up and start drinking and hydrating for tomorrow's race. I want to run hard tomorrow and see what is in me. I am excited to see what the course looks like. A big piece of me wants to get through this race so I can start a new year of training. I am really excited because I talked to my twin sister, Liz last night and she sounds like she is interested in running the Boston Marathon with me next year. I think that would be awesome. The last time I ran Boston I ran a 3:06ish marathon. I would love to try to run sub 3 hours with Liz. We'll see, at least it will give me something fast to focus on and to get me more racing fit. I am off to go read some magazines and relax before the five hour drive to Lynchburg. Thanks to everyone for their good wishes in the 50 mile race. I'll update on Sunday or Monday pending email access.

Posted by mary at 9:06 AM | Comments (2)

October 10, 2005

Weekend Update

Friday Afternoon

On Friday I only got to run about 3-4 miles because I was very busy setting up for Saturday's home cross country meet. I just ran for about 30 minutes on the trails around the school's campus.

Saturday's Rainy Meet Day - Little Running

On Saturday I ran about three miles breaking down all of the barriers that we had set up on the cross country meet. It was raining and pouring all day long. I was so cold from being in the rain all day. After the race I wanted to run but it was already four o'clock and I had not eaten and Mark and I still had to drive to Boston. We decided to get pizza and run when we got to Boston. When we arrived in Boston we did not run. I was disappointed but tried not to think about it.

Sunday's 12 miler

On Sunday Mark ran the BAA half marathon. I left for my long run while Mark and his friend Ricardo started their warm up. I ran with Mark's sister Sarah along the Charles River. It reminded me of my college days. During college after my Franklin Park cross country races or after my BU indoor track meets I'd always stay at my older sister's apartment in Boston and do my Sunday long run along the Charles. This Sunday it felt so nice to be running on a flat bike path. I actually felt fast and felt good. I have been feeling really out of shape and not very speedy lately. I think part of it is that I am not racing fit at all in terms of a 10k or 5k. I think I have a lot of endurance but my speediness has gone down the tubes. I am depressed about it but know that I can change that by starting to do speed workouts again and by starting to work on my strength program again. Once I recover from the 50 mile race that I run this weekend I plan to establish an entirely new training program to get me as fit as I can.

Mark had a pr and finished 13th overall in a very competitive and hilly 1/2 marathon. His finishing time was 1:11.34. He was very happy and is looking forward to the NY City marathon. I can not wait to see him run at the NY marathon. He really wants to break 2:30. I think since the 1/2 marathon was a hilly course he has a good chance to do so.

I was excited to see Mark at the finish and his friend Ricardo who finished in 12th place. I then met up with Caitlin, Alison, and Blondie and was hoping to do a 30 min. run with them. Unfortunately, because of the cold temperatures and my ride situation I could not wait to run with them. I was sad not to get to run with them but really glad to meet Blondie for the first time.

Monday's Easy A.M. 7 miler and Congrats to Alison on a great Tufts 10k

This morning I got up and ran my morning 7 mile lake loop extension run. I ran easy, about an 8 minute pace. This is my taper week so I plan to run 7 today, 6 tues, 5 wed, 4 thur, and off friday or three miles. Saturday will be the 50 miler in VA. It is actually a little over 50 miles technically. I hope I can feel rested and redeem myself in the ultra world when I run the 50 mile race this weekend. A piece of me feels like I don't deserve to run fast because I have not put in the kind of training that I know that I should have put in.. but a piece of me wants to surprise myself and run well because I want to remember that I have some natural inclination to run long distances. I just want to regain my confidence in ultra running and racing again so that I feel more motivated and confident to train hard and plan for some fast new races in 2006. I'd be really happy to finish in the top 3 this weekend and very happy to run under 8 and a half hours. I know I will have to be ready to race and ready to put it on the line and I have not really done that yet this year so I will have to see what happens.

I am definitely inspired by Alison's Tuft 10k results that I just looked up. It looks like Alison was 51st overall with a time of 38:18. I am happy for her because it just shows that hard work and perseverance really pay off. Congratulations Alison! I can't wait to hear the report.

Posted by mary at 5:22 PM | Comments (6)

October 7, 2005

Relatively Easy Week So Far

Monday's Light Day of Running

On Monday I was wiped out from my 20 + mile run on Sunday. I was feeling sore and tired. I ran about three miles on the cross country course and called it a day.

Tuesday's Beautiful Fall Folliage Mud City Loop

On Tuesday I ran an easy 7 mile run with the cross country team on the Mud City loop. The foliage is tremendous right now and the hill sides were filled with color. The run was nice and easy and relaxing.

Wednesday's Double Run

On Wednesday morning I got up and ran the four mile lake loop in the morning. It was nice and warm out. I felt pretty good but took it easy.

On Wednesday afternoon I ran in my new favorite place. I ran in Hubbard Park in Montpellier for a little over an hour with my friend Jenn. It was all trails and very beautiful. The trails were terrific to run on, clear, rolling, runable. I can't wait to go back to those trails. At the end of the run we walked up a tower and got to see a panaromic view of the entire area.

Thursday's Double 7 miler

On Thursday morning I got up and ran my 7 mile lake loop extension run. It was very foggy but I could still see the bright fall colors through the fog. I ran alone and took it easy.

In the afternoon I ran the course again with my friend Katy and ran faster than I did in the morning. I felt really good and was so glad to be out in the crisp late afternoon air.

Friday's Morning Run

This morning I ran an easy three mile run around most of the lake. I went out and back. I wanted to do more but I had some class work to take care of before school began. This afternoon I hope to run anywhere between 5-7 miles. I stayed up too late last night so I am dragging today. Another busy weekend coming up, we have a home cross country meet tomorrow and a trip to Boston tomorrow night. Mark is running the BAA half marathon. I'd like to run about 10-13 miles for the day but won't officially run the race. I wish I was staying home and relaxing for the weekend but I am going to try to make the most out of the traveling.

Posted by mary at 1:33 PM | Comments (0)

October 3, 2005

Post 50k Week's Summary

Monday's Day Off

On Monday I walked the neighborhood dogs for about a half hour and did not feel very sore from the 50k at all. I was sleepy tired but not achy tired in my legs or hips. While I was walking the dog I lost my ring and had to spend about 45 minutes looking for it. Mark found it for me and it was literally right in front of me. I guess I was pretty tired.

Tuesday's 4 mile run in the North Kingdom

On Tuesday the students had a meet in the North Kingdom which is about an hour north of where I am living. It was in Lyndonville. I have not been there before but I have heard about it. The area is very scenic - lots of trails and mountain views. The students did a relay race there. When they were finished I ran about 4 miles on the trails and really had a great time. The trails were very nice, soft and well marked. They looked like they could go on for miles. If I had had more time I would have run a lot more because I felt pretty good. On the uphills I was tired but other than that I felt great. It was nice to run on soft trails that were clear.

Wednesday's Mini Run/Workout

On Wednesday I planned to do a longer run but as it turned out I only ran 1.5 miles. I ran 1.5 miles with the team during their tempo run. They had to run 2 miles at seven minute pace so I jumped in to pace them. Initially my left quad was really achy so after a half mile I stretched and relaxed until they came through the mile mark. As it turned out I had run the first half mile at 3:08 pace which explains why my quad was sore. The second mile felt very relaxed. We ran the second mile in 6:45. I thought about running more once the team finished their faster 800 repeats but I really did not feel like it so I just relaxed and called it a day.

Thursday's A.M. 7 mile Lake Loop and Evening Fitzgerald Loop

On Thursday I managed to wake up and run an easy seven miles around the lake. I ran nice and easy and felt great. I did the lake loop extension. When I returned to the camp I realized we did not have power. I took a chance and took a hot shower and was relieved to have enough hot water. In the evening I ran another six miles after school. I ran nice and easy and was happy to have the energy for a second run. When I returned to the camp we still did not have power and we also did not have any hot water. I was freezing. I made a pizza while I waited for the utlity company to come. By 9 p.m. the power had returned which was nice because it is starting to get chilly at night.

Friday's Early Morning 9 mile run and Afternoon 7 mile Trail Run

On Friday morning I met my friend Jen at 6:00 a.m. and we did our usual 6-7 mile loop. It was so early but the sky was so beautiful. It was worth the effort to get up just to see the orange and pink sky. When I dropped Jen off at her house I still had another 2.5 miles to climb uphill back to my car. I have been picking her up and driving to the top of the hill so we don't have to start at the bottom of the hill. In the afternoon I ran with a coworker of mine, Katy, at Caty's Falls trails. Initially I was so tired and I had to stop about three times in the first 10 minutes to stretch my quad. After ten minutes I did not have to stop and I had a lot of fun running on the trails with my friend.

Saturday's 10 mile run in Thetford and Easy 3 miler

On Saturday I was at the Thetford Invitational all day. We left from Morrisville at 6:30 in the morning. I woke up with a sore throat and felt horrible. I slept on the way to the meet. When we arrived I realized we would have an hour and a half before the first race. I decided to go for an easy run. I ran the 5k course and then hit the road for another 7 miles. I ended up running about 3.5 miles downhill to Unionville and came upon a very nice refurnished covered bridge. I then had to run the last 3.5 miles uphill. I ran very easy because I was tired and not feeling 100%. In the afternoon there was a free hour without any races taking place. I decided to explore some trails across the street from Thetford Academy and managed to run another three miles easy. I spent a lot of the afternoon cheering for athletes and I also got to visit my nephew whose team came from CT to race in the meet. He had an average day for him, finishing fourth for his team and running 17:50. He wanted to run in the low 17's. I am sure his team will make it to New Englands an then he will get another chance to run that course and run faster. When we arrived from Thetford we had to get in our car and drive back South to head to Boston. I was exhausted and was in a bad mood while I was driving. We made it to Boston by 11 p.m. and I was so happy to hit the sack and go to sleep.

Sunday's Great Brook Farm State Park: 2 hour and 45 minute run

On Sunday I was hoping to run for three hours but based on how I felt I was happy with 2 hours and 45 minutes. I met Mark's sister and ran the first 45 minutes with her at Great Brook Farm State Park in MA. We ran a pretty good clip and I was already tired and wondered how I would manage another two hours. We met up with Alison for the last two hours. Sarah ran with us for another 15 minutes and then it was just Alison and me. The trails were really nice but I did not know them that well. I had us do a lot of repeats but we talked non stop so I hardly noticed the repetitive nature of the course. It was awesome to catch up with Alison and terrific to have her company again on the run. In the last 30 minutes of the run I was wiped out and really slowed down a lot. If Alison had not been with me I would have cut the run short. I think that will be my last long run before the 50 mile race. I may do a two hour run sometime this week and then start to back off. It was a perfect day for running on Sunday morning. I was beat as we drove back to VT and managed to go to bed at 9:30 and did not wake up until 7. I should feel great today with all of that sleep but I actually feel very tired. I am hoping I can run an easy 8-9 miles after work today since I was unable to get up to do a morning run today.

Posted by mary at 11:33 AM | Comments (3)