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January 27, 2006
Lots Of Positive Happenings!
i will start with running. i havent been good about blogging my specific workouts, but i can give a general sense of what i have been doing. im feeling lazy, but at least im doing "it" and moving forward with my running instead of remaining stagnant. mondays i do a strider type workout with about 10 striders and wed or thur, i have been doing a fartlek workout, alternating between 4-5 times 5 minute pickups and 6-8 times 2 and a half minute pickups. otherwise, i have been running anywhere from 6-10 a day and the "long" run has been pretty short- 14ish topping out at 16 when i can. so, nothing spectacular to report from here. im still trying to eat better (meaning more) because my meds are kicking the hell out of my eating! i just don't want to get to my marathon and not have the strength i need because i dont feel like eating. soooo, ive designated today and eating day:) meaning that im tossing as much as i can down my throat. i had a terrific massage yesterday. i havent seen her in two weeks since she was away on vacation. she took one look at me and said, "so, i guess you havent gained any weight, huh?" i thought i had, but i guess it doesnt look it. we have talked at length about how i need to force myself to eat even if my meds kill any desire to eat or else i wont be healthy. i really love this woman and she gives killer massages:)
i have a ton of dog sitting jobs. i have one this weekend, one next weekend and then one for 17 days straight in february for my "regular" dog sitting person. that'll be a lot more fun than last year since the dog is no longer a lunatic and im feeling soooooooooooooooo much better myself. i guess the dog and i have both gone through a bit of a transitional year :)
in regards to coaching, i guess i got BOTH jobs i applied for, so i start in feb for the little kids and then i get the "big" kids for the spring. I am PUMPED for the outdoor job. it's an assistant coaching job for boys and ive never worked with boys before. sooooo, it should be quite an education, although the head coach (who seems like a sweet , terrific guy) assures me the distance guys love to run. so, i guess that things are falling into place, even though i have had my doubts. i have to take deep breaths and have the confidence that i can coach these boys and that i do know what i am doing. my lack of confidence is something that i am working extremely hard on and i think this is one, of many, great steps in that direction. positive thoughts, positve thoughts, positive thoughts. that's what i am working on right now, too. as soon as anything -or anyone - negative pops into my head, i think positive thoughts. i actually had a woman yell at me at a group meeting last night (this is a support group meeting) , telling me that i was completely wrong about something. the subject happened to be teaching young kids the importance of not calling someone fat because it can lead to judgements later (one of the women was called fat while working at a school) my heart went out to the woman- she's a great person, but it had to hurt regardless or where it came from. who wants to be called fat? the old me would have felt badly that this woman told me i was wrong- which, in case you're wondering, is totally against what a support group usually does- and somehow brought it onto myself. i did say that i was done talking when she started to rant on because i wasn't going to be criticized for my opinion! but, the leader asked me to continue, i did and i realized that this woman wasn't really yelling at me. she is unhappy with herself and disagreed with what i was saying, so she had some misplaced anger or whatever. when the group was over, i told her that i hoped she had found the peace she was looking for in the group- she had said that was why she came. i would have held onto it and beat myself over it, but i have learned a lot in the past few months and know it really has nothing to do with me. i do feel sad for her and that she is at that place in her life and hope to never return myself, where im so sad with myself that i cannot see the light.
i am just so happy and thankful for all the people who have helped me walk on the new path i am walking and pray every day that it continues. there have been the expected bumps, although i dont think they should be there:) , but in the end, i am right where i need to be for now. and, with each day, i am getting closer and closer to my goals. running wise that means qualifying for the trials. there's no question anymore- im doing it this spring. i wont let any doubt enter in about that. it's really cool to know that you can do something and open your mind to it a bit more and more. im trying this with more than running, but since this is a running blog, i suppose i should talk a bit more about running. im just so grateful to no longer be in the pit, to know that i am helping others and they are helping me and that a happy life awaits me- and is upon me:)
Posted by lilly at January 27, 2006 12:21 PM
Comments
hey, you have no experience coaching boys? really? hehe.
hey, as far as eating, how about adding meals to your training schedule. actually writing it on the calendar as part of your 'workout'?
Posted by: jeff at January 27, 2006 06:23 PM