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May 19, 2012

I have a time trial tomorrow

My injury is 99.99999998% behind me, and I am now able to handle 65-mile weeks, though not very fast. Now comes the hard work that could amount to something, or just lead to disappointment in the end.

Coach has mandated that I either race 5k or do a 2-mile track time trial this weekend, and if I chose the time trial, someone else needed to be present, presumably to yell at me and keep me from bailing. I hate 5ks so I opted for the time trial. Coach and I had a bit of a run-in over the someone-has-to-be-there part, because I have no running friends who live closer than 30 miles away, and I would never ask either of them to get up way early and drive that far just to watch me run around a track for 2 miles. Luckily, my husband said he would do it. I owe him a really nice dinner.

So I have this time trial tomorrow. I dread it. I hate the track and haven't set foot on one in years, and I hate short races, and this is like the worst combo of the two. Roger said to start out at 6:30-6:35 pace and then see what I can manage. One the one hand, I'm still so slow after the injury that 6:30 sounds as attainable as, say, an A standard; I'm not sure I can even run a single sub-seven mile at this point. And on the other hand is the certain knowledge that a year ago I considered 6:35 my 10k pace, and not so long ago I ran 6:40 pace for 15k, and blah blah blah. This unattainable 2-mile pace, should I attain it, means what, exactly? That I can haul my carcass around the track at a pace I would have sneered at not so long ago?

Add to this the damning admission that many of my (uninjured) running friends and fellow coachees are doing fabulous things lately, PRing all over the place, and I am happy for them, but I am also jealous as hell and wish that good running things were happening for me also.

I am not too happy with myself today.

Posted by joe positive at 12:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack