June 6, 2010
I am officially over it
I am officially over Cleveland. Over the 20s PR, over the pie-in-the-sky age-graded time, over the negative split, over the not-yet-official 3rd place masters finish.
I am back to being the slow, supremely unconfident schlub plodding 9:30 miles in the heat, unwilling to face pain, unable to haul myself to a local 5k, unable to hope for anything but maintaining my dubious fitness another month or two.
I read of runners facing a race and thinking "yeah, I've been training well, and I just know I'm due to smash some PRs, so bring it on." I wish I could be like that. I wish I could feel my training pushing me to as-yet-unscaled heights. I wish I felt I was due to smash some PRs. But instead, it's the same old slogging around at the same old paces, hoping I can stay uninjured enough to toe the starting line in Toronto in September, where I can run maybe a 3:11:09 and then tear a rotator cuff patting myself on the back.