June 17, 2009
1. 70% of my neighbors: Why do you sit for many minutes idling in your driveway only to zoom out backwards just as I run past? Why, especially if you have a big honkin' smelly truck, do you not look carefully to catch a glimpse of what the window posts may have blocked (me) when you (didn't) look the first time? Why do you have a phone clamped to the side of your head, obliterating your peripheral vision?
2. regular neighborhood dogwalker: Why do you have your extremely prey-driven energetic little dog on a retractable leash? He sees something (me) run past and jerks the damn leash out of your hand, and your motorized wheelchair isn't fast enough to catch him. And he doesn't come when you call him.
3. potential new viola teacher: Why do you leave a voicemail agreeing to give lessons over the summer, then never, ever return my subsequent calls? I am very willing to show up for lessons, practice hard and pay you on time without prompting. I have left 2 voicemails during the past 2 weeks and I'm beginning to feel like a stalker. If you didn't want to take on another student you should've just said no and stopped wasting everyone's time.
4. former regular client: You just dropped off the face of the earth; why?
5. employers at the chiro's officer: Why do you ask me (at the last minute) to cover a vacationing employee's hours, then neglect to tell me that the vacationer's plans have changed and I won't be needed after all?
Focus, people! There are other folks on the planet besides yourselves.
June 6, 2009
There was a 5k this morning at a park several miles from my house. Coach somewhat reluctantly allowed me to run it even though he considers me to be still recovering from the marathon 3 weeks ago. I was pleased with the time but not the execution. We had thunderstorms all night so today was sticky and warm. Right after the gun I noticed that my right shoe was loose. Wondered if I could manage to pull over and re-tie, without my glasses, without losing too much time; decided against it. Tried to regulate pace in the first mile, began to move up around the 1-mile mark. Continued to pass people, but they were slowing down anyway.
At 2.25 I passed a fabulous masters runner I have idolized for years; she is slowly coming back from a years-long injury, which is the only way I could ever get near her in a race. As I passed she said "good job" to which I responded "oh, I'm fading," and then proceeded to do precisely that. She passed me back within the next quarter-mile, and I spent the remainder of the race not looking at my watch and trying not to fade too badly. Just after 3 miles I was passed by a fabulous 20something-yo runner, who is pregnant; another breathless round of "good job"s was doled out. The finish clock was broken and read 10:00 when it came into view. As I crossed the line somebody said "20 flat," and a second later I remembered to hit the stop button on my watch.
20:00, 3rd woman, 1st masters. 6:24/6:32/6:43/6:35 (.1mi). GPS says 3.06 miles; that and a heavily wooded section may account for the fact that my splits do not reflect a 20min 5k (6:24 being the average pace necessary for that). Last year I ran this race in 20:18, but I was about 6 weeks out from a hip flexor injury. Still, I'm glad to get near 20 again. Biggest lesson learned: I'm not ever going to pass that fabulous masters runner again unless I know for sure I can take it all the way to the finish.
June 1, 2009
three people ago
Things I worry about, great and small:
1. That my viola teacher is going to yell at me for buying a new bow. She is convinced that I'm not capable of buying a bow unless she is right there with me. I am so glad I don't work for her.
2. Tiny stinging sensation right where the stress fracture used to be. This is weird, feels like something just under the skin rather than at the bone. I feel it when I rub my leg lightly. I mostly don't feel it when I run, only toward the end of the run and only if I push hard, and then it still doesn't hurt really, but I know it's there. I'm going to give this a few days, but in the meantime I'm worried because of the location of the discomfort.
2. Yesterday I called my mother and talked to her for the first time in almost 19 years. We were never close, not ever, and I think there was much relief on both sides when we lost track of each other in 1991. During the late 90s I tried to track her down using various online searches. Eventually I obtained a phone number, but once I dialed it I realized I had nothing to say, and I didn't want her to think I wanted anything from her. I figured she'd certainly arranged her life around her absent children, and who was I to disrupt that? I've tried 4 or 5 times to describe how I actually decided to call her yesterday, but I can't. Suffice it to say that after some initial confusion she was dee-lighted to hear from me, and she wants us all (my brother and me) to be a little fambly again, and she's plumb crazy. The whole conversation might well have been between me and one of my 70yo fibromyalgia clients, and thanks to my massage-therapy training I was able to listen sympathetically and let her rattle on, and not divulge too much about myself. Of course, I had a glass of bourbon at hand the entire time. Mike came home in the middle of all this and I mouthed "it's my MOTHER" and he nodded sympathetically and fetched me a refill. Later, we were talking about how weird it was attempting to "catch up" after such a long time, and he remarked that 19 years was like 3 people ago. I'm glad I talked to my mother, but I really have mixed feelings about this intsy-family thing. I don't hate families at all; on the contrary, I really enjoy seeing my friends happy with their families. But I've been without one for such a long time that I don't miss it or need it. Or want it, and that's what I worry about.