November 15, 2008
now I remember why I hate music
If we can put a man on the moon, surely we can come up with a random function that is truly random. Maybe it's my bad luck, but I have yet to use a digital-music player that shuffles properly. I always end up with the same song 2 or 3 times in 5, or (worse) 2 or 3 times in a row. At the chiro's office, we use Rhapsody, and the office manager has done a commendable job avoiding the usual Cosmic Blessings shit in favor of guitar and piano music. But one particular guitar song sounds a lot like my dead friend's song "Unsurreal," and that seems to be the song that the Random function loves to hate.
Also: blip, you are a blessing and a curse. Recently I've been introduced to new (to me) stuff by my fave blip DJs; found some very cool awful covers by a guy named Christopher Hintz who, it turns out was on the fegmaniax listserv about the same time I was; and, unfortunately, stumbled on some stuff I thought I could handle at first, but have become very painful earworms. The Reivers were a late-80s folky pop alternative (we called it "college" back then) band from Austin and I listened to them a lot back then, especially in my car many weekends during the 4-hour drive to or from the American Inn in Valdosta, GA, where my dead friend and I used to meet when we first started dating, since he lived in Atlanta and I lived in Tampa. We even skipped Valdosta one weekend to go see the Reivers play in Jacksonville. Though we both tended toward twentysomething melancholy for its own sake, we were at the happy beginning of things back then; we were Terry and Julie, and "Shake Some Action" meant the whole world and all its possibilities were in front of us, and I'd spend the whole car ride to Georgia singing every song on "Translate Slowly" at the top of my lungs.
Given all this giving-in to emotion I was sure I'd have nightmares last night, but to my happy surprise, I had one of the recurring dreams about my friend that I used to have when he was alive. Still, today has done little to lift my mood. It's warm, muggy, overcast and breathlessly still ahead of a promised cold front. This didn't make my weak-legged run any better, and my leg's been holding at about 96% - and no better - for a week now, and I'm staring one of these milestone birthdays in the face, and oh! why can't I go back and change everything I ever did wrong?
Posted by joe positive at November 15, 2008 8:14 AM
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Yeah, I hate it when some of those old tapes start playing through my head. It doesn't have to be on a milestone birthday, either!
Posted by: Jon at November 27, 2008 5:25 AM