June 17, 2008
We went out to a show Saturday night, very rare for us. We ran into a friend who lives in Washington DC; she talked about how Bob Mould is "all out n proud" and looking very fit these days, way different from the big-ol'-fat-ol' young Bob Mould of Husker Du.
Last night at band practice, the singer presented me with a crystal that's supposed to be affixed to a shrine to my friend that died. The shrine was created by a local woman who fancies herself the living incarnation of Frida Kahlo. I used to work for her when she owned a restaurant. She made the shrine and donated it to the community radio station where the singer in my band works. The shrine is about 4 feet tall, made of 2x4s and has a lot of stuff painted on it, as well as photos, newspaper clippings, and little tiny seashells glued to it. The station felt that they couldn't keep the shrine because it was covered with shards of broken glass, and sometimes schoolchildren tour the station, and, well, it would be something of a liability. So the singer in my band offered me the shrine. At first I thought the right of first refusal should go to a few other people, but then I decided fuck this, I think I would like something tangible, so I loaded the thing into the mini cooper and took it home, and now it sits in a place we can look at it if we want, but we don't have to look at it if we don't want to.
Last night I dreamed about my friend all night long, in all kinds of different contexts: my band was supposed to play somewhere, but we hadn't done any promotion (and neither had the club); an acquaintance took us to task for being so negligent about promotion; my friend (who wasn't in the band) was there just to be nice and help carry our equipment, and he had a very stylish new haircut and muttonchops or something, and I complimented him on it, even though I hate muttonchops and my friend wouldn't be caught dead sporting them anyway; then my friend was in the band and we were hanging around the (gay) club dancefloor waiting for the DJ to stop, and some of the patrons were acting kind of hostile because we weren't gay (or maybe just because we weren't dancing), and some of the guys had these bodybuilder-type bodies and were threatening to beat me up, and I noticed that my friend also had developed a bodybuilder-type body (something he wouldn't be caught dead sporting) so I knew he'd be able to protect me. And then I dreamed I had woken up from this dream, and was in my kitchen getting a glass out of the cupboard, and I realized I'd dreamed about my friend all night and I said, to him, to the cupboard, "I dreamed about you all night long," and I started to cry. And then I woke up for real.
This morning I went out for 8 miles, which were supposed to be gentle and easy after the sorta-hard run yesterday. But given Dror's recent comments about easy pace, I didn't want to drag ass the whole time, so I pushed just a bit in the first mile, just enough to get uncomfortable. As the discomfort leveled out I found myself settled nicely into an 8-minute pace, which felt good without being hard, whatta neat trick. I hope I don't pay for this at track tomorrow.
After the run, waiting to see if work will call, I found this and thought about how wonderful life is, and wondered how anyone can be so self-centered as to throw it away.
Posted by joe positive at June 17, 2008 10:59 AM
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I'm glad you took the shrine. It sounds like it is in a good place. And I'm glad you dreamt about your friend. It sounds like this is all a continuing battle for you that you are handling quite well. I really applaud you for that. ANd it is cool that you are so open.
Hope the weather isn't too warm down there for some good runs . . . .
BTW - mini cooper? How fun - I've always wanted to drive one of those. I think I would get a red one - convertible. Not practical up here - but perfect for a warm climate state!!
Posted by: mindi at June 21, 2008 1:25 PM