December 6, 2007
aaarrrggghhh, this isn't going well. If I didn't know better, I'd call this...but I know better.
My training schedule gave me a 2-week taper, but a weekend-long conference screwed up last week's running a little and I just decided to start taper a little early, with 67 or so miles. You'd think that light week would set me up for a wonderful high-energy bunch of runs this week, huh? Not happening; instead, it's like the start of a 2-week-long bout of PMS. Well, let's hope it stops at 2 weeks, anyway...Let's whine about everything that's wrong:
My legs are sore and tight, every day. Especially tight are tib anterior and peroneals in the left leg, though the right heel is sore too. Oh, and hamstrings on both sides feel tight when I try to run fast.
Which I can't, or I won't, or I don't want to. Tuesday's speedwork included 12x300 with a goal of 1:05. Back in May I did this workout (on a track, with people) and got under 60s for a lot of it. This week we had perfect chilly weather but I barely got 64s, not sure why. Today I'd planned 12 with 4 or 5 @6:55. Cake, right? Certainly less difficult than some of the other Thursday runs I've done lately. But after a 7-mile warmup fending off loose dogs, dodging drivers, and thinking about work (more about that in a minute), I was in a poisonous frame of mind. Mike offered to pace me on his bike, and we did 2 miles (6:47, 6:55) and I decided to stop. Not because I had to but because I felt like it, or rather I didn't feel like running fast anymore.
This is not a good time to lose my nerve.
Work has been extremely slow. I average 1 or 2 appointments per 6-hour shift, and since I don't get paid for the time I'm sitting around waiting to be booked for an appointment, this kind of sucks. Money aside, I'm not gaining any experience either. Work is slow right now for everyone but the most longtimer therapists (those with the extensive, rabidly loyal clientèle), but I can't help but wonder if maybe I just truly suck as a massage therapist and no one wants to tell me.
In a few minutes I have an interview with a chiropractor who's opening an office about 4 miles from my house and needs a massage therapist a couple days a week. I need to shake this frame of mind!
It is not for nothing that I am called joe positive.
Posted by joe positive at December 6, 2007 10:34 AM
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Oh dear. That's about how I felt throughout my taper--pretty crappy. But this might help--Tinman always told me that springy legs make for bad marathons. He might have just told me that so I wouldn't bug when my legs still felt like shit the day before the marathon, but I don't think so. Most people peak too early. You shouldn't feel good this early in taper, if at all really. I'm still waiting to feel good since my taper and it's been two months!
As for the massaging--be confident in your abilities and your massagees will be confident in you too. Think you're awesome and you will be awesome. Since you have the training and you're not stupid I promise you it'll work! It's a leap of faith but sometimes it's good to have faith in yourself and to manufacture a little confidence when the natural stuff is lacking.
You know what, do the same thing with the marathon. It's funny, when I read your posts I totally relate. I am a recovering pessimist. I assumed the worst for a long time and beat myself up over not being good enough (whatever that means) all the time. However, I have been trying really hard to give into the light side (heh) and when I am able to just let go and be blindly confident expecting the to reach my goal it usually works out. When I over analyze and worry and try really hard to reach my goal I often crumble under the pressure. I guess, sometimes it's good to be a little stupid :)
Posted by: Salty at December 6, 2007 11:43 AM
Yep, shake it off. You can't go down that road of negativity. Not now. You have worked way too damn hard.
I also felt like absolute crap during my taper before Twin Cities. Seriously. Everything got very tight and sore and achy. It really freaked me out. My HR was high and everything seemed just off. The good news was that by race day I felt awesome. I started feeling good about the Wednesday prior to the race (which made me really wonder about the 2 week taper idea). But in the 15 days or so before it, it seemed like my legs got tighter and tighter each day. SO, I think what you are going through is common. You stressed your body and are now letting it recover some. It is in shock. Let it do its thing and you will be rock solid come race day.
Sorry to hear work is so slow now. But it is probably the time of year. Everyone is preoccupied. I'm sure you are a great massage therapist. Good luck with your interview!!
Posted by: mindi at December 6, 2007 12:09 PM
I remember Mike W. (y club mike)sounding rather matter of fact about experiencing pre-event soreness, etc.. last year before he ran Boston. "Of course you will feel crappy" he said. "Everything that you've pounded into the ground is now being given a chance to heal". He's a doctor (medical, I hope), and it makes sense. You wouldn't trust euphoria right now anyway.
Good luck with this interview. Remember how nerved up and uncertain you were about your last one..and that turned out pretty good, huh?
Everyone is slow. Karen S. actually answered the phone the last 2 times I called for an appointment. That has never happened before.
You are good at everything you do! Maybe some day we'll both agree on that point.
Posted by: ray at December 6, 2007 4:19 PM
Hang in. You're not looking to peak this weekend. You will loosen up. You will.
Posted by: roots at December 8, 2007 12:31 AM