« week ending 8/26 | Main | back among the living »

September 3, 2007

away from the numbers

first, the week:

M: AM 8mi (9:30), PM 5mi (8:58)
T: AM 10.25mi incl 8x200-or-so (avg 5:19 pace), PM 4mi (8:57)
W: AM 11mi (8:44), PM 6.09mi (8:54) at xc practice
R: AM 6:52mi (9:15), PM 6mi (8:46)
F: 7.3mi (8:53)
Sa: 7mi (8:53)
Su: 10.21mi incl 5K race - 19:31, oops, make that 19:34, 5F, 1F40 (no masters division in this race)

total: 82.5 miles

next, the critique:

The week looks light because I raced Sunday instead of doing the long run. I'll have two long runs this week instead.

Tuesday's "200s" were done on the road, pretty much down-one-block-hard-right-then-another-40-feet-to-the-start-of-that-hedge-there, which came out to about .13 miles on the gps. The hard-right with 40' left to go was probably not a good idea, but otherwise the workout was fun, mostly because the items were so short and also because I'd been watching some of the IAAF short track events so I could imagine I was Tyson Gay or something (jaw relaxed, cheeks and lips a-flyin' like in the slo-mo on TV). A water meter reader cheered me on and I told him I'd dedicate the last item to him, haha.

Wednesday afternoon I arrived at xc practice early to make sure I'd get a few miles in. Little did I know that practice would involve some more actual running on my part. I ended up with 18 for the day, and suddenly I felt very, very tired. Thursday I was to meet someone very early for bridge repeats; she overslept and it was just as well, because I was toast.

After a massage and a couple of easy days I felt normal again, and I raced yesterday for the first time since June. I swear to god the clock said 19:31 when I crossed the line; in fact I was so focussed on the clock that I forgot to turn off my watch. This was bittersweet, because 19:31 is my current PR, so yesterday's time was almost-but-not-quite a PR. At the awards they announced the time as 19:31. But the official online results say 19:34, which plunged me into the depths of despair. Now it's definitely not a PR, not even close. After all this work I'm not even as fast as I was 'round this time last year, which was not even all that fast. bleh.

Today I did yesterday's scheduled long run - 22 miles - and I'd planned to stay at a moderate pace until the last 7 miles, then try to hold 7:15 pace until the end. Didn't happen. I was very content to go 7:30-7:45, but I could not get under 7:30 and hold it for any length of time. During the last 2 miles my stomach rebelled, and I ended up slowing to no-cramp speed (in this case about 9:15, ugh). Again, a failure.

As I was trotting through those trots-avoiding 9:15s, I started thinking about how some anorexics will talk about "being" a given weight, like the number is their entire identity. I've never been anorexic, but I do notice a tendency to think about "being" a certain number (pace or time) and letting my happiness depend on that number. Yesterday I wanted to be under 19:31 (under 19:30, truth be told). Today I wanted to be 7:15, but could never be any better than 7:30. 19:30 and 7:15 are successes; 19:34 and 7:30 are failures. Sheesh, such a stupid way to think!

On the other hand, I'm working and working and working, and I'm only treading water.

What should I be doing differently?

Posted by joe positive at September 3, 2007 12:49 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.running-blogs.com/mt/R-B-tb.cgi/689

Comments

Post a comment




Remember Me?