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October 31, 2006
huis clos
Those dreaded words: "Let's break into groups and..."
I started a massage-therapy program at the beginning of this month, and we started not with anatomy, physiology, and the like but with a Florida-mandated "core" course for health-care workers, which covers what can only be described as "life skills plus!" For the past four weeks I've been thrust back into that high school hell I hated the first time around. I don't like it too much now, either.
But what bugs me the most is working in groups. We've had group exercises lasting anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours, and each time I've been amazed at how much I hated it. The most memorable (and hateful) was a project for which we had to illustrate, in non-anatomically-correct fashion, some body system. Our group was assigned the urinary and lymphatic systems, lovely things to behold. One girl didn't care what we did as long as she could work in somehow that UTIs burned "like fi-yahh!" and the rest of us just didn't give a shit. Finally we came up with the idea that the urinary system is like a tree, which soaked up and filtered fluids rained down from little lymphy clouds, and the leaves and stuff were the bladder. Armed with this imprecise physiology, we proceeded to spend a couple hours cutting up pieces of construction paper and gluing them on poster board. The white puffy clouds were healthy lymph nodes; the black ones were speckled with pathogens made of confetti and stricken with, respectively, tonsillitis and hodgkins disease. Our tree had some healthy leaves, but the ones with the UTI burned like fi-yahh! The leaves with uremia were black, the poor things.
We gave a little presentation and received an A. Everyone in the whole class received an A. The group saddled with the circulatory system built a castle surrounded with little play-doh animals representing diseases. They gave me their Pleurisy Chicken to take home afterwards, but the fact remains that I hate hate hate working in groups, and I don't do it very well.
I'm ranting mainly to celebrate having survived the darkest hour; this group hell is about to end. In another couple of days the core course is over and we start the massage program proper. I can only hope that I will be allowed to learn the bulk of the nonclinical stuff on my own. That I do very well.
Posted by joe positive at October 31, 2006 1:42 PM
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Comments
...indeed, other people can be hellish ... yet i would speculate that - if you didn't have to do it - you would even enjoy working in a group of your choice.
If you didn't have to race, you'd be faster.
If you didn't have to think, Sartre-ly speaking, you would be no longer alive...
Ergo, it's time for the Joe+Ve Memorial Performance Marathoning (5k,10k,Half,full marathon and ultras, amonsgt others customized runs included) Event.
Here's how it works:
1) The PERFORMANCE window starts at midday Friday and finishes at 6am Monday. In time, this could be extended or be suited to a specific location and time of year (festivities could help logistics, but it would be nice if it would end symbolically just before people have to go to work...)
2)The CIRCUIT is a 42.195Km more or less circular loop, of ideally (but not necessarily) varied terrain and elevation
3) at the center of the loop there is the event village with registration desk, organization HQs, and all other logistical setups. A nice welcoming feel wouldn't hurt...
4) Runners are all equipped with networked gps instrumentation which they use to "DECLARE" the start of their performance and "ANNOUNCE" its end
5) They can begin and end their RACE (individually or together in groups) at ANY TIME, ANY PLACE on the course, for any of the traditional distances (5, 10, half, full marathon and beyond)or for their own customized distance within the Friday midday and Monday 6am event window.
6) Runners can run their performace as many times as they want to try and improve their time, as the window will allow;
7) Runners can run their performance on any portion of the course and in any direction. Special transportation will help to whisk them to their desired starting location and pick them up at their expected (or otherwise) finish. Special transportation will also be used for spectators and supporters of sorts
8) The fastest times, paces and distances (traditional and custom) will be posted continuously on a huge screen at the center of the village. There will also be course-cams to monitor performances. There will also be mobile cameras for popular parts of the course
9) Runners can register to race at anytime during the run window, but the event is OVER for everybody at 6AM Monday.
While maintaining the rigor of official certification, does this leave enough doors open?
In memory of Joe+Ve... the Joe+Ve Memorial Marathoning Event...
Posted by: corrado giambalvo at November 1, 2006 4:07 AM
Corrado has entirely too much free time. Did he bump his head when he crashed his motorcycle perhaps?
And look at the bright side, very few people in their entire lives are lucky enough to have a playdough pleurisy chicken of their very own to keep and love.
Posted by: chelle at November 11, 2006 7:24 PM