January 27, 2006
Less than a month into the year and I've already reached a new low of crappy weeks. Sometimes it seems funny, but mostly it's a real downer, and I find myself yelling at cars and thinking hateful and ungracious thoughts about well nigh everyone.
The job is sucking the life out of me. There are just not enough days (or nights, or weekends) to get everything done, and the requests (or demands) just keep coming. My search for another job has taken on a new sense of urgency. Of the two places I interviewed last week, one reported that I was second choice, and the other (one that I really do want) said nothing until I emailed to follow up; then they said they'd make some decision at the end of the week and let me know (they haven't, and it's the end of the week - most peoples' weeks, anyway). This week I had an initial phone interview that seemed to go well but now seems to have gone nowhere. For years I've had no trouble getting jobs, and now I can't get arrested. I wonder if my luck has finally run out. Meanwhile I have to try really hard not to be a total snot at work. Service First!
Runningwise, well...this week my schedule ran out, so I fell back onto the 8-weeks-to-go week of Advanced Marathoning's 18-week 70+ plan, but I'm in such a crappy mood all the time lately that I find the P Plan less than inspiring. I wussed out and turned Wednesday's track workout into 6x3:30 hard on the road, but bagged that idea before I even started and instead just ran some miles, a few of 'em brisk. Thursday morning I thought I'd atone with 2 hard miles in the 10, but while the miles felt hard, they weren't particularly fast (6:30 and 6:19). Today I used my 2.5-mile warmup to obsess about how much I hate my job, and by the time I stopped home to shed extra clothes I was a seething mass, storming around yelling I can't take it anymore. I went out for the remainder of the 11 miles and after a while noticed some low 7s and even a high 6, and I figured the GPS was just blowing smoke up my ass. As I ran I called every car "stupid car" regardless of model and every driver "fat cow" regardless of gender. Now I have a blister on the sole of my foot.
Posted by joe positive at January 27, 2006 5:36 PM
I am so sorry to hear how much you hate your job. I know I have been there and it is so awful to be consumed by a) how much you have to do; and b) how much you hate everything about it. Good luck getting something else!
Posted by: Barb at January 30, 2006 10:54 AM