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November 15, 2005
poor pitiful
I guess it's ok when you get to the 46th week of the year before you hit the Worst of All Possible Days of the year. Today was the worst day so far, full of annoyance, stress, and sadness, and not all of it about me either.
I've bitched about my job both vaguely and not so vaguely recently, bitched about the long hours and the expectations of 24/7 uptime and the gut-punch feeling I get when I make a mistake. I've thought a lot about finding another job or just quitting outright. Today one of my 3-person team quit, leaving me and the other guy to divvy up that 70-hour week and add it to our own 70 hours. Our manager didn't say a word about it (he let the quitter tell us); he just left it to me and the other remaining guy to "step up" and "do the right thing" (i.e., martyr ourselves for the company). Suddenly our carefully-planned schedules go out the window. Now, instead of just letting my co-worker know I actually need a weekend day off to go race, I need to let him know of any reason I might not be available to work on any given day. Or night. I had a job offer the other week which I turned down. It's since been re-offered and I am sorely tempted. On the other hand, my manager has taken a couple days' vacation, and it would be terribly unfair to do something like this while he's out. Wouldn't it just.
But not all of it's about me. My husband's grandmother has been fighting lung cancer. For a while she was doing much better than anyone thought she would, but we heard today that she's begun to stop fighting. It's what she wants now, and completely expected, but it's very sad anyway. Just a few weeks ago we were eating dinner with her in Baltimore, and she was frail and got tired easily, but it was easy to think that she was just 86 years old (she is), not terribly ill. But now she's stopped eating and she's barely drinking. She doesn't want extraordinary measures to be taken. It's just very sad.
I've been slack about blogging lately. I have been running, and it's been going well, just don't want to talk about it this evening.
Posted by joe positive at November 15, 2005 8:18 PM
Comments
I'm glad to hear that running is going well, and I'm sorry that most everything else isn't.
I'm really sorry about your grandmother-in-law.
As for your job, I'm sorry about that, too, and I hope that they either start giving you the respect and treatment you deserve in the near future, or you take your life back and give them the treatment they deserve!
Good luck with all of this.
Posted by: Alison at November 16, 2005 6:32 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's grandmother. There's never a good time for a loved one to fall ill, but it does seem like it just exacerbates your current job situation. I've been in a similar situation jobwise, which is why I'm finally writing after reading your blog for many months and vicariously (and, I guess, secretively) cheering you on. That your boss, knowing what a bind the team was in, still decided to take that vacation and let the two of you fend for yourselves instead of immediately bringing in extra help, says to me you should take the other offer. Explain to your new bosses the current situation and ask if you can start a little later than they may be expecting (if they are a good company, they'll respect you don't want to leave your other employer in a total bind). Then, soon as the boss returns, give your notice. It sounds like you deserve better.
That you've been able to log all those miles under such stressful conditions for so long is just amazing.
Posted by: Anne at November 16, 2005 7:04 PM