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April 17, 2005

do not read

Here comes a giant crisis in confidence. 28 hours from now it will all be irrelevant and maybe I'll even delete the post. For now, though, I want to spare my husband this last bout of whining and anxiety. Yesterday I noticed my left leg was a little tight. It persisted through a very easy 4 miles with Alison and Bridget (yay! to that part of the day, anyway), and stayed sore throughout the day, periodically tightening up while I sat around doing nothing.

This morning I felt ok when I woke up, and decided that today's Big Worry would be how on earth I could hope to run an OK time despite starting pretty far back. This excerpt from Kevin Beck's blog helped put it in pespective:

I mean, what difference does it make to you what direction the wind's blowing? You'll be starting in the seventeenth corral! Get real -- you're not going to Boston to race, you're going to enjoy the experience and buy up all sorts of unicorn-covered merchandise at the Hynes Convention Center, to include, without a doubt, an official Boston Marathon jacket with which to impress your homies.

I'm not quite in the 17th corral, and I didn't buy any unicorn-covered stuff or even a jacket, and yes I am taking this out of context, but this does provide an extra excuse if I don't get near my goal. Thanks, Kevin. We've never met, but you help me.

So anyway off I went in the nice chilly morning to the Freedom run only to find that my leg did indeed hurt. Worse, even than last night, and it wasn't loosening up during the 2.something-mile jog. All sense of perspective gone at this point, I spent the whole run wondering how much did it hurt. Was it the kind of thing that would go away after a few miles like things tend to in races? Well then, why wasn't it going away? Was it the kind of thing that was going to turn into howling agony during a marathon? If I were home right now, doing my usual Sunday run with club people, would I be thinking about this at all? Would this keep me out of a race at home? I seem to recall that few of my runs and none of my races this winter and spring have been 100% pain-free, but I honestly can't tell how much this hurts.

I really need to calm down.

Posted by joe positive at April 17, 2005 11:05 AM

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