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October 10, 2004
I just don't know what to do with myself
Elvis Costello once recorded a very cool version of Burt Bachrach's "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself." It's a post-breakup song mourning - besides the breakup itself - everything that you lose when you cast your lot with one particular thing, and then that thing goes away.
This weekend my husband and I took an impromptu driving trip through north-central Florida. I spent a lot of time driving and thinking and grinding my teeth. I came up with at least twelve different training plans, and after carefully formulating each one I thudded back to earth after reminding myself that I'm not able to run yet. Thud bump cry, think of another plan. Beginning runners are always told "you must stick with it and make running a part of your life." The crappy thing is when you make it part of your life - a really big part, social and emotional as well as physical - and then it's gone.
Ugh, really wallowing in it this evening. Ah well, today's the day. Today I can probably forgive myself for the excessive self-pity. Just have to start over tomorrow, without the drama.
Posted by joe positive at October 10, 2004 8:11 PM