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January 31, 2005
How Time Flies
...even when you're not having fun! As of yesterday, it's been 4 weeks since I last ran (unless you count Saturday, when I played football with a bunch of friends from work, but that involved more sliding and falling in the mud than actual running). I can't believe it's been a month--I think because I've been so busy with other things the time has just flown by. But at the same time I feel like it's been an eternity since I ran, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to remember how! At least I'm not really worried about being in shape until the fall, so if I have forgotten how to run, I'll be able to take my time relearning. There's a ten-miler at the beginning of April that I'd like to run decently, but I think I'll be running again very soon, and two months should be enough preparation for me to not embarrass myself. I hope.
In the meantime, I have to admit that I've kind of been enjoying swimming. In part, I dreaded it so much after last spring that as long as the pool wasn't filled with boiling oil, it would have exceeded my expectations. But I've also improved some, or just gotten more comfortable, so I'm able to get into a good, smooth rhythm. I also really like how I feel afterwards--I can't exactly describe it, but it's physically exhausted and relaxed at the same time. Mentally relaxed, as well. One of the things I miss most about running is having quiet time to myself in the morning, before the traffic starts, before everyone gets frustrated, before my phone won't stop ringing. Going to the gym in the morning, with the crappy music blaring and the tv's flashing, doesn't do it for me. But the pool is quiet--I can just focus on how my body feels moving through the water intead of on all of life's flotsam and jetsam.
But speaking of flotsam (or maybe this is jetsam) here's a quick update on workouts: Friday I swam a mile in the morning and stationary-biked for an hour in the evening; Saturday I played football and then biked for an hour and lifted; Sunday I biked for 90 minutes and did abs stuff and lifted; and this morning I swam a mile and then biked for an hour after work. My foot is definitely feeling better, but I'm going to stick with swimming and biking through Thursday, because I really want to run this weekend. I'm going to Santa Fe, NM for work from Thursday until Monday, and I don't think our hotel has a gym. More importantly, though, I'm going to spend 9 hours a day taking minutes at a board meeting instead of taking advantage of gorgeous NM, so morning runs (or even run/walks, depending on how my foot feels) will be my only chance to revel in the scenery.
Posted by jessie at 10:42 PM | Comments (0)
January 27, 2005
Caught
So, Alison caught me...not only have I not kept up with my own blog the last few weeks, I haven't kept up with everyone else's either. I should have known that any excercise-related problem I could possibly have would have been dealt with by someone else here! It turns out that I am not the only person with awful raccoon eyes--jenandmats just wrote two weeks ago about venturing out in public with goggle marks. I do think that my goggles are too tight, but otherwise they let in water, totally defeating the purpose of wearingthem. So it's red stinging eyes, or black eyes. Probably I should just buy a new pair--I bought really cheap ones when I was hurt last spring, because investing in equipment was admitting that I really wasn't running. But maybe if I did invest, I'd swim more in an effort to get my money's worth--and it would definitely be good for me to use swimming as my cross training more often when I'm "taking it easy" this spring.
I can't believe I just five minutes writing about goggles. I wonder if swimmer message boards are like this--runners obsess endlessly about shoes and chafe-free shorts, so swimmers must obsess about goggles and swim caps. It makes me wonder about all sport message boards--I'm sure somewhere there are people passionately debating the pros and cons of some bizarre piece of equipment for a sport I've never heard of. I could get philosophical about the passion for sport existing all across the world, in every culture, for as long as humans have formed communities, but it's time for bed.
Non-sequitor time: say "goggles" over and over-it's one of those words that becomes gibberish when you repeat it.
Posted by jessie at 11:50 PM | Comments (1)
January 26, 2005
Spinning
I intended for the title to refer to the exercise class, but I realized you could also look at it as "spinning my wheels," which, while a cliche, does describe how it feels to not be running. For all of my thinking positive about taking it easy, knowing I'm doing the right thing, etc., it is frustrating to exercise and exercise without going anywhere, literally or figuaratively. One of the (many) things I like about running is that you set goals, devise a plan to reach those goals, and see progress. It's hard to get very excited about upping the resistance level on the elliptical trainer.
To alleviate some of my boredom, I went to a spin class with my roommate at her gym last night. She has gotten into spinning while she's been sidelined with a knee injury, and she always raves about her Tuesday night class. I'm usually anti-group-class; I always think of girls in matching spandex outfits wearing makeup barely breaking a sweat doing step aerobics, which I know is an awful stereotype but I can't help it. Plus I'm tremendously uncoordinated, and have had some very unfortunate and embarrassing experiences. But my roommate would never wear makeup working out, so I decided to trust her. I'm glad I did-the class was really great. It was the best workout I've gotten since I haven't been running, and it was a lot of fun. My gym has spinning classes too, so I think I'll start going. It was so nice to do something different, and since my plan for the spring is to include more cross training I'm glad I found something else I like.
This morning I went to the pool and swam for about 40 minutes. After work I did an hour on the stationary bike and some abs stuff. I really do think my foot is feeling better, so I'm going to be good and go the pool again tomorrow. Question for anyone else who swims-do the goggles leave imprints around your eyes? Mine leave these dark marks on my face that me look like I have a black eye, and they take a long time to fade-everyone on the metro this morning probably thought I'd been beat up!
Posted by jessie at 11:24 PM | Comments (3)
January 25, 2005
Sabbatical
I suppose “sabbatical” is too fancy a word for not updating my blog in two weeks. And aren’t you supposed to be rested at the end of a sabbatical? Because I am definitely not rested-I have been absolutely consumed by work. Partly I let myself get consumed-I get busy, I get stressed, and then I get tunnel vision, and it seems like all I do or think about is work, even on the weekends. The only downtime I take is to work out. It counts as “me” time, I guess, and is excellent stress relief, but it isn’t exactly relaxing, because I tend to get compulsive and tunnel vision-y about exercise too. So anyway, I decided I need to start taking some more breathers, start taking some more time to just think, and be calm and quiet, and slowing down enough to post here is part of that. It does feel good to be at my computer and not be writing marketing copy!
Slowing down is my new running strategy as well-or at least it will be when I start running again. The bone scan showed a stress reaction, which is much better than a stress fracture but still requires some serious rest. B., the physical therapist, said that I could start running again when I didn’t feel anything walking around. I was hoping that would be last weekend, but it still hurts. I decided that while ellipticalling like a madwoman wasn’t making things any worse, it wasn’t allowing my foot to get better—so public swimming pool, here I come! I’m still biking too, just because I need to work up a sweat, but if it still doesn’t improve I’ll go to just swimming. I’m not there mentally yet, though. And it may be wishful thinking, but I do think it’s better now that I’ve put less pressure on it for a few days. The pool wasn’t quite as awful as I remembered…
Even if I’m running again in a week or two, I’ve decided that I’m not going to run Boston this year. I could get in shape to finish it, but after my New York experience I’m not really interested in just finishing another one. I want to run my next marathon feeling like I’ve trained as hard as I can, and I’m ready to run as hard as I can. More than that, though, I think I just need to take it easy for a while. I’m in this injury rut—get hurt, get almost healthy, get hurt again—and I don’t think I’ll get out of it until I spend a few months running easily and consistently. As soon as I recovered from my last injury I jumped into marathon training, and fairly soon after New York I started gearing up for marathon training again. I’m going to spend the rest of the winter and spring running 5 days a week, cross-training, and keeping my long runs to 12 or 14 miles. That will be enough to keep me in decent shape for some shorter races, and more importantly will give me the base for healthy, solid training for a fall marathon. At least, that’s the plan.
Posted by jessie at 09:31 PM | Comments (1)
January 10, 2005
So much work...
...and so little time. We have another board meeting coming up, and I'm just completely buried at work. Which might actually be good, because I'm too busy to be depressed about not running.
I saw the doctor on Friday. Well, to be precise, B's a physical therapist, not a doctor, but I trust her more than any doctor I've ever seen, and she knows more about runners and runners' bodies than any doctor I've ever seen. I was hoping she'd say, "No way! Not a stress fracture" but she was 60/40 on if it is or not. So I have a bone scan scheduled for tomorrow-wish me luck!
If it's not a stress fracture, then I'm confident that B will fix whatever weird joint or tendon thing I have going on. If it is, then pending the results of the bone density test, I may just have to figure out how to adjust my training long term. Maybe one marathon a year is all I can do; maybe I need to build in more down weeks; maybe I'll just have to live with less mileage than I would like. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, though. And either way, I'm feeling much better after seeing B. She's a serious runner, and she's struggled a lot with injuries, so she understands how frustrating it is. And she makes you feel like whatever the problem, there is a plan for fixing it, and you will get back out there. Don't get me wrong-I'm not happier about spending so much time working out inside-but I'm not about to go out a window either.
Nothing too exciting to report about my workouts-I'm still sticking to 90-120 minutes of cardio, split between bike and elliptical, and I'm still being consistent about weight training.
Well, back to work...and then, I hope soon, to bed.
Posted by jessie at 10:07 PM | Comments (2)
January 06, 2005
Hanging in there
Thanks, everyone, for your well-wishing and encouraging words. It's good to hear from people who understand...unlike certain unnamed family members, who say "Well, maybe you should just quit running."
I'm doing okay. I'm bored of the gym, but I'm surviving. At least from my Cosmo reading I know more about how to please a man than I ever did (not that there's a man in the picture anymore!). And I'm trying not to worry about the nature of the injury, or how long I may be out, because there's no point in worrying until I see the doctor. And even after I see the doctor, stressing out or being upset won't do me any good. I just have to do (or perhaps more precisely, NOT do) whatever it takes to heal, and go on from there. Easier said than done, of course--I'm sure I'll cry if it turns out to be a stress fracture. Cry, or punch a wall.
Re: workouts, I've done at least 90 minutes of cardio a day, split between the elliptical and the bike. I've been lifting more consistently too (although it might not actually count as consistency since it's only been three days.) My foot is feeling better--I can tell it would hurt a lot if I ran, but just walking around I'm okay. Which I think is an encouraging sign--last time the pain was really bad just walking, and while cross training (of course I ran through it for a month before I even started cross training). Since I'm seeing improvement, I think I'm okay on the elliptical. If it doesn't improve more, or if the fracture is confirmed, I'll switch to pool running. But I hope it doesn't come to that--I HATE pool running!
Posted by jessie at 10:30 AM | Comments (4)
January 04, 2005
Catastrophizing
I'm trying not to jump to the worst conclusion, but I'm pretty sure I have another stress fracture. It feels just like it did last spring, although not as bad since I haven't been running through it for a month. Yesterday I was in tears about it, but today I'm doing better, and trying to put things in perspective. First of all, it might not be a stress fracture, and in another week or two I may be laughing at myself for getting hysterical over tendonitis. But if it is a stress fracture, I've caught it early, and will hopefully be out for 6 weeks instead of 6 months. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, so we'll see. I'm not thinking about my race plans at all, because it's just too soon to tell. I'll deal with that when I get to it.
Regardless of what the injury actually is, it's prompting me to do some things I should do anyway. One, I'm going to get a bone density test. I definitely get enough calcium-I drink a LOT of milk and take a multi and a supplement-but I may have lost bone mass in high school and college, so it's worth checking out. Two, I'm going to get a gate analysis, because there's got to be something going on biomechanially that's causing all these left-side problems. The neuroma, the two fractures last year, the IT band, the hip, the mystery injury now--all on the left side. Wouldn't it be nice if it was something easy like a leg length discrepancy, and a lift cured all my ills?
About workouts--yesterday I did an hour on the elliptical in the morning, and then did 40 minutes on the bike and some core exercises in the evening. I had planned to do more lifting, but I was close to bursting into tears at the gym and decided I should just go home. This morning I slept in, because I think part of my teariness was just exhaustion. It was a good move-my perspective has improved dramatically. I'm not looking forward to having to do all my gym time at once after work, but oh well. I have the new Cosmo for some trashy entertainment.
Posted by jessie at 10:55 AM | Comments (5)
January 02, 2005
Doing the Smart Thing
I need to declare publicly that I am going to do the smart thing tomorrow and cross-train instead of run. And I'm going to continue to do the smart thing for several days (or more) after that. I've been thinking about my last entry all night and realized how stupid it was. If I'm feeling twinges, then I should give it a rest until I don't. Waiting until it's more than twinges will accomplish nothing, other than require more time off down the road. The fitness I would gain this week is completely outweighed by what I would lose with another long layoff. Boston is almost 4 months away; it's much better to take (hopefully very little) time off now than in March.
To be completely honest with myself, which I haven't wanted to be, my foot is already a little more than twingey. I've been conscious of it all week, and yesterday and today I've been feeling it even when I'm not running. Probably it's not another stress fracture, but the only chance I have of making sure that's true is to rest it now. If it's tendonitis or something then I've caught it early, and a week or so is all I'll need; if it's something more, then catching it early is still a good thing. Last time I ran through it until it was almost a full fracture, and it took six months to heal; I'd much prefer to take six weeks this time if I have to.
Okay, I'm done venting. I've talked myself into not being an idiot. I'm going to take a deep breath, stock up on magazines, and brave the New Year's Resolutions crowds at the gym.
Posted by jessie at 09:37 PM | Comments (3)
Fear
Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's Eve, and that 2005 is off to a great start. I hope mine is, but I'm not sure: I'm absolutely terrified that I have a stress fracture again. But the bone is supposed to heal stronger than it was originally, right? So it's unlikely to get another one in the exact same spot? So it must be just a little tendonitis?
I don't have pain, exactly, just twingey-ness. I had some twinges at the beginning of November, too, that went away, so I'm staying optimistic, running only on dirt, icing regularly, and preparing to take time off at the first sign of more than a twinge. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about being hurt again, about having to give up my plans for the spring, about having to set foot in the community pool...at least I haven't registered for Boston yet, so I won't be out $100 like last year. But it's nothing, right? Probably just the weather.
Other than the twinges, all is well. I was able to make up the mileage I missed on Monday without too much trouble, which I'm happy about. Thursday morning I was a little tight after Wednesday's tempo run, so I ran a pretty easy 10. I ran 10 on Friday too, but a little harder and on a hilly route. I cross trained both days as well, 40 minutes on the elliptical and some strength training. Not as much strength training as I should have done, but oh well--some is better than none.
Saturday my club had a 5k at noon, which I had every intention of running...until I didn't wake up until noon. I haven't slept that late since I was in college, and it was wonderful. It's been a long time since I was out until 4 am! I didn't set my alarm when I went to sleep, and figured if I woke up I'd go, if not no big deal--and the verdict was not. My legs felt like cement when I ran later in the afternoon (I might have had a tiny bit too much to drink the night before) so I was really happy that I didn't attempt to race. Even though I didn't feel great running, it was a great run--it was almost 70 degrees yesterday! It was so wonderful to be outside in shorts and a sports bra. It actually smelled like spring, that warm earthy smell...I could almost let myself believe that winter was over. Everyone else in the city felt the same way--the trails were jam-packed with strollers and rollerbladers and bikers. Normally I'd find such crowds annoying, but everyone was just so happy to be outside, I think it would have been impossible to be grumpy about anything.
Alas, it was much colder today, 40 and windy and cloudy. Of course it's not snow and ice, so I'm not complaining. It's supposed to rain the rest of the week, but be in the upper 50s, so I am happily retiring the tights for a little longer.
Actually I'm glad it wasn't in the 60s today, because I was doing my long run. I met up with a few of the guys and ran just under 17. I didn't feel great at the start--I just couldn't get comfortable--and I was worried they were going to drop me. But finally, about an hour into it, I loosened up, and the rest of the run was really good. We finished really strong, and fingers crossed, the twinges are still only twingey.
Posted by jessie at 04:15 PM | Comments (0)