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February 14, 2005

Well at least I'm in good company

The decision not to finish yesterday was actually an easy one. I starting getting tight and sore very early on, and the muggy conditions made a miraculous recovery later in the race even less likely. I couldn't see what I would accomplish by finishing: an even longer period of rehab, falling further behind at work because I was wiped out. At one point I thought "don't be a weenie; finishing today will be a badge of honor." But then I realized I already had one of those - anyone who finished Boston last year has their badge for life. And I felt like I didn't *just* survive there; I persevered. I didn't feel the need to prove myself again. I've finished 15 marathons. If anyone questions my ability to finish I'd have to say that person was a mo-ron.

So just after 14 I found my parents and stepped off the course for good. I'd been accompanied for a lot of the half I ran by one of the women I'd done those great workouts with right before I got hurt. She'd had a really great racing year up to that point, too, but was struggling with a neuroma and had been sick all week. So we helped get one another through for a while. I lost her right before I found my parents and don't know if she decided to finish or not.

Meghan, Leilani, and Leilani's husband R made it out to our house on Saturday night for Andy's (I didn't do a thing) pasta party. I didn't get to spend too much time with them, but I'm certainly glad they were there and that we got to hang out for at least a little bit. My friend Holli thought that Meghan was my sister! (I don't even have a sister.) I had hoped to meet up with them after the race, but our post-race plans to meet at the "Q" were foiled by the complete lack of any family reunion signs at the finish area. I guess I've gotten spoiled by Houston's ultimate marathon organization. Two years ago I think they (Motorola Marathon) actually said there would be letters for the reunion area and we caught them taping up little pieces of paper to the wall at around 11am or so! Fortunately I'd already found my friends (and the beer) on my own by then.

All week long there had been bad little signs about this weekend. The first was that I was working 12-hour days. I worked on Saturday until 1:30 or so, and even went to work yesterday afternoon. In the mornings last week I'd get up and turn on the tv to VH1 and they seemed to always be playing Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." Then on Saturday on my way to the expo I heard Bob Dylan's "Hard Rain's Gonna Fall" followed by CCR's "Bad Moon Rising." Two people at the pasta party warned me that running the next day might lead to a forced permanent retirement from running. (Thanks a lot!)

DNFing totally sucks. One thing that makes it easier to take, though, is knowing that I'm in good company (This morning I heard that song that's out now about "Even the best fall down sometimes.") Beth, Liz, me ... and Paula, of course.

THANKS so much for all the support over the past several months. You all (inclusive of all my real-life friends and my cyber-friends) are a real source of inspiration and encouragement. Having that is much much better than a pr. (Although I still want that pr!)

Posted by jenandmats at February 14, 2005 7:31 AM

Comments

Congratulations on a solid effort nonetheless. Yesterday was pretty brutal all around and I agree - you have absolutely nothing to prove to anyone. This way, you took care of yourself to come back strong so much faster than you would have done if you'd slogged it out in those conditions.

Posted by: Richard at February 14, 2005 10:10 AM

Jen I am so sorry that you had to DNF but it sounds like it was definitely the right decision. Good luck healing your leg and finding the next great marathon!

Posted by: Barb at February 14, 2005 10:46 AM

Yeah...I'm starting to wonder about this whole blogging thing and if it's really a curse...there is an alarming number of bloggers dropping out of marathons these days!! (yourself, Meghan, Liz, and myself of course...) Then again maybe we are just the smart ones! :)

Regardless, you said it best yourself - you had nothing to prove and you definitely made the right choice! Hope you heal up well - I'll be thinking of you!

Posted by: Beth at February 14, 2005 3:03 PM

You know, I was having the same thought as Beth about this blogging thing, maybe we're all cursed to not finish marathons. It sounds like you had a fun weekend, besides the marathon. I believe that given what you have been struggling with for the past few weeks that you made the right choice. There is no question that you can finish a marathon, and not only do that, but do it better than a large percent of the population. That being said, you will recover from this and come back stronger and faster for the next time you run one. Take care of yourself in your recovery and have lots of fun!

Blondie

Posted by: Blondie at February 14, 2005 7:27 PM

I'm sorry things didn't go the way that you wanted them to yesterday. But I'm glad that you've made peace with your decision. Time to rest and recover your body, to get it healthy for the next big thing, whatever that is.

Oh how I wish I would have seen you on 6th street. I did see Andy a little while later though...

Good luck with all your work, thanks for the party (Thanks, Andy, for the food!), and I enjoyed getting to know you just a little more.

Take care!
Meghan

Posted by: Meghan at February 14, 2005 8:01 PM

Yea, yesterday SUCKED. You definitely have that PR in you; you've put in months of hard, hard training. Take care of that tendonitis and let's get back at it (when we're all better)! Since you're a cold weather runner, maybe we can convince you and Meghan to come East for a fall marathon? Andy cooks better, but we'd still feed ya'll. :)

Posted by: Leilani at February 14, 2005 9:25 PM

Oh man--sorry to hear about your race!!! That's exactly what I thought when I dropped out of Phoenix..."Paula also dropped out!". In the weeks since I'm convinced for me it was the right , smart decision and I hope that this is also the case for you. It does stink though when you dedicate so many weeks towards one big day!!!! This experience will definitely make you stronger . I hope your recovery goes really well and I can't wait to read about your next marathon attempt. :)

Posted by: Liz at February 14, 2005 10:55 PM

Rest up, heal up, and then enjoy the revenge tour. We all know it's coming! Party on.

Posted by: Alex at February 14, 2005 11:11 PM

hey, don't forget your husband and his parents also welcoming you off the course at 14! i've only been gone for 1 day and you forget me already? hmmm. anyway, i'm proud of everyone for pulling out early! there's nothing to prove to anyone in the FUN sport of running as long as you have a ride to the finish!

Posted by: chopped liver at February 15, 2005 5:30 PM