May 09, 2005
Cruisin
I love speed. Anything fast. This has gotten me into some dangerous situations throughout my life and have sustained some minor injuries as a result. When I was about 10 years old I was riding a scooter (the Vespa kind with speed and all) down a path behind our house going about 40 mph, hit a pot hole and went flying into a field. I was alright but my wrist was not. I was more afraid that I had totalled my older brother's favorite toy that I didn't realize for a few hours that my wrist was broken. Years pass and then in highschool as a novice driver I loved to drive down the country roads around our town as fast as my little suzuki samurai jeep could go. One night, more engaged with singing along with Weezer and my friend beside me, than with an upcoming curve in the road, I avoided driving into a field by cutting the wheel quickly and rolling my jeep a few times. Once again I was alright but my three fingers on my left hand were not. My pointer, middle, and ring fingers were cut pretty deep. No stitches actually but I had so dress and bandage my hand for a month or more for the wounds to heal. In the end all I lost was a finger nail. There are a few more stories I could tell about similar situation but I suppose ya'll get the picture.
I still have a tendency to go from 0 to 60 in a split second without thinking much about what might happen after that. I can see this in how I handle the way I run. Since my last doctor's visit I realize that i need to be cruisin around 40 mph right about now and enjoy the scenery even though things may look more interesting as i speed past. Friday I ran 45 minutes and felt great. Saturday about an hour and had to hold myself back from going longer. Afterwards I rode the bike in the gym and felt pretty strong. Sunday I ran about 70 minutes and felt the usual pain and pulling in the usual spots. It's been so beautiful here in philly. tons of people out running and rowing on the river.
I'll try to cut back on the car and driving metaphors. Even in my dreams they evolve so i don't know how much i can really help it.
Posted by E-Beth at 12:47 PM | Comments (1)
May 05, 2005
driving with a flat tire
i am hurting. i can even feel this groin stuff as i sit here. last night after work i went on my run home. i was feeling pretty good and strong and ran for about 70 minutes. by the last ten minutes of the run the familiar pain in my groin and pelvis began to creep in deep. it's such a strange pain and difficult to explain. it runs deep. luckily i had an appointment this morning with my applied kinesiologist and he worked on my varied problem areas. today he used the metaphor of what happens to the rim of your car wheel when you drive on a flat tire. and that is how it feels. he is hopeful but i am beginning to feel a burning desperation. so no running for me today.
last night after a shower and some food we walked about 2 miles to Pep Boyz to pick up my car from the repair shop. we were unable to pay with a check as my sweet babe forgot his license and wallet so we had to grab a cab back home, run in...run out, and head back over to Pep Boys, making it there just before closing to pick up the car. the rest of last night was filled with similar bumbles and bickerings so i was finally glad to stretch out across my bed and close my eyes.
i am trying so hard to be relaxed about the whole injury thing. i've tried out innumerable perspectives. i am perspectively pooped. at one time when people asked me why i run my response would be "because i can." i loved the freedom of going as long or as hard as i wanted. running seems to make everything else in my life work better. what a wonder it is to be able to exert all of this physical, emotional, and psychological energy over the miles, through trails, around the track. running is something in my life that one else can really (at the core of it all) control. it's all up to me where and when and how hard. the dark side of this is now my core (quite literally) is saying no. and now when asked why i am not running, all i can think and say is "because i can't."
Posted by E-Beth at 11:21 AM | Comments (1)
May 04, 2005
The Last Minutes
My run home from work last night was encouraging. I ran for about 35 minutes till I got to my gym and then did 15 minutes on the treadmill to push myself to go a little faster. I've been running so much on my own recently it seems like I need something to give me that power. On the run home down to center city i hit certain landmarks a bit faster than previous days. I'm feeling good if i can get to the second McDonald's in 10 minutes rather than 11. The treadmill made we sweat in those 15 minutes and then i was out of there.
home with my sweet sweet lover i stretched and relaxed while he made dinner for us. for me this is the perfect way to come home at night. making food at night has always been so time consuming for me as i usually make fresh soup, salad, and other stuff that takes some time to prepare. my stomach was not to happy about waiting around for that stuff. now that i have recently changed my diet (really cutting back on the roughage, veggies, fruit, whole grains) i've been doing the pasta,rice, and protein thing. my stomach is now satisfied on many levels and overall i feel better. our bodies never cease to fascinate. all this chatter about veggies and fruit....whole grains and low low carbs. definitely not the way for the runner and i did fight this for awhile. i do miss my romaine salad with mango, avacado, and ginger/cilantro dressing.
On to this morning. I was so comfortable and cozy this morning i waited till i only had time enough for a half hour of running around my neighborhood. a little stiff in the groin area but as i warmed up at 20 minutes i felt strong. in the evening i plan to try 70 or 80 minutes. Really i am just trying to see as many miles as i can each day and still feel good. To the last minute.
Posted by E-Beth at 12:07 PM | Comments (1)
May 03, 2005
Thin Threads
This is my first entry. Feeling somewhat uncertain about what to write and where to go, I begin. With those same feelings I started running about 4 years ago. Soon after that I was running more and more miles each day. I continue, even today, to wonder when those feelings about running will change and as I am slowly realizing I think I will always feel a certain wonder about running. Perhaps that is why I go chasing all those miles.
Some brief background about how this all started. Up till and after playing soccer in college I'd always been pretty active. I made it along just fine until one cold and rainy spring day I decided to run a 10k, just to see what it was like. Well after an ok race my life went from fine to exceptional when I met a girl who is now one of my most favorite people. We talked. I gave her a ride home. We began running together. Starting off with 8 miles every other day was just the beginning. By fall I decided to do my first marathon here in Philadelphia. I finished in a shocking to me 3:17. After that my mileage went up to 100 miles a week. My mileage stayed at 100 through 5 other marathons including a 2:54 PR in NYC. Around a year and a half ago running seemed to become more and more of a struggle. Pain in my groin got so bad I finally had to stop running because it was extremely painful to even lift my right leg to put on jeans. After a year and half of completely frustrating and exhausting health dysfunction I finally am in the midst of recovery. i do hope.
to run a fast marathon in the fall would be a dream.
making my way toward this i woke up a little later than the usual 5:30 am since i don't work till later in the morning on tuesdays and thursdays. my run took me down to the sparkling schukyl river in philly and out to kelly drive (here in philly we have this 8 mile loop starting from behind the art museum. "the drives"). I continue to do this run in as many creative loops as i can as my recent memories of running have been filled with complete physical and psychological fatigue and frustration. I was feeling not so bad this morning. The whole groin thing turned out to be a torn psoas muscle. For anyone wondering what this muscle is.....it's one that attaches to your spine behind your lower ribs and runs all the way down to meet the top of your thigh at your hips. It's the muscle that enables you to pick up your leg. Love this muscle. Stretch it if you can. Make sure it's loose and strong. The tears i have in it are at my groin and top of my thigh. Little micro-tears that have cause major floods of tears through many miles and countless sleepless nights. Well, I am getting healing for this from an applied kinesiologist who has been such an angel for me. While I still feel it, I have been doing better, thus running more. Running faster. I ran for about 65 minutes this morning. I don't want to over do things to quickly. Plus I will run home tonite from work. I work in north philly and it's always an interesting "commute" home down broad street. Especially in the spring when the shout outs become colorful and crude. I recently got a "Hey, can i take you to Friday's when your done running!!!!"
That's my tuesday as far as running goes. The many more things that occupy my time and essentially fuel my desire to run will be revealed as I write on.
Posted by E-Beth at 12:05 PM | Comments (5)