The Current Pace
Originally this blog was titled "Running Commentary" and it was mostly about running, but also a lot about my life as a single, professional woman in New York City. I wrote a bit about dating, work and travel and tried to tie it all in to my essential identity as a runner. Several things changed in my life and priorities began shifting and it made sense to give the blog a new name when I moved it to a new location. I was in a new relationship, working hard at getting a new job and really committed to seeing how close I could get to the Olympic marathon trials qualifying time. "Change of Pace" seemed fitting.
Several years later, my life has undergone far more changes that I could have possibly anticipated when I made that name change.
The relationship is still on, I got the new job and I came as close as I realistically could to the marathon time I wanted. Beyond that though, I left the new job after less than a year, moved to Missouri, pretty much stopped running altogether, completed a master's in photojournalism, had a baby and watched my mother's health decline to the point where she now has to live with me. And really, almost incidentally, started running again.
The good (new career path, baby) is fantastically good and the bad (Missouri...or rather, NOT New York and my mom's MS) is depressingly, sometimes devastatingly, bad.
So now, with hopes of getting back on track with the blog again, it will still be about running, but it will also be about photography and freelancing and parenting and care-taking and being a member of the "sandwich" generation. I'm also going to try to post pretty regular updates about how my mom is doing for friends and family to touch base in one place.
Lately, things have been tough for my mom. She really wants to be living on her own and often has trouble accepting the limitation that multiple sclerosis has imposed on her. She often expresses her opinion that she is capable of doing things that I know she is not, but it is hard to tell if she really believes she can do these things or is grasping at the power of magical thinking. I feel like I've seen a noticeable decline in her ability to express herself verbally, executive function, spacial relations and physical coordination. She hasn't seen her neurologist in Richmond since early in the year, but we're finally scheduled to see a doctor here on Tuesday, so we'll see what she has to say.
Okay. Enough on that for now. The next entry will be a little lighter, since I really do think it's a good thing that I'm running again. All this care-taking is hard on the psyche AND the body, so it's important that I keep myself strong. I've got goal races on the calendar and it feels good to actually be keeping track of my miles again, as paltry as they are at this point.