Because you have to start somewhere
I'm big into mantras these days, like, "It's all a process" and "All in good time." I'm trying hard to be patient with myself in all areas of my life, whether that is figuring out how to start a productive career as a photographer and get out of debt, fulfill my responsibilities as both a mother and a daughter and take care of the physical plant behind it all, my poor, neglected runner's body.
The mommy part seems to come pretty naturally. The kid is cute and sweet and easy to love. The fact that he doesn't like to sleep more than an hour or two at a time is hard on me physically and mentally, but somehow I'm continuing to function pretty well as a zombie. I lose words constantly and have become very forgetful in general, but hopefully those symptoms will fade on the longed for day when the nugget starts sleeping through the night. (Or most of it anyway)
The daughter part is tougher because my mom is really struggling hard against the loss of her independence. She's past the point where it is safe for her to live alone, but she's very resistant against making the move to Missouri. Who can blame her? I've only been here a couple of years myself, so it's got to feel rather random. I need to make some big decisions on that soon and start the process of packing her things and selling her condo, but for now, it's a very intimidating prospect.
The photographer thing is going to be starting in fits and starts for now, but at least I think I'll be able to keep my hand in the game until I can really commit to either looking for full-time work or really hustling for gigs as a freelancer. The AOL hyperlocal website Patch has been hiring me to do some reporting and photography since the last couple months of my pregnancy, so for now, I'm not looking to do much more than that. The pay is slave-wages and the stories are rarely hard-hitting, but it gives me some exposure and the opportunity to pitch ideas in the future. So what if it's mostly pictures of cute local kids...I'll just take the best darn photos of cute local kids that I can.
And finally...the running. I had been getting out of the house in fits and starts to run a couple of miles here and there, but I was feeling really heavy and slow. Besides that, it just didn't feel good. So I started off the new year in Richmond, just walking briskly every day. The consistency paid off and after two weeks, I was starting to jog a bit during those walks, just for the fun of it. Once I got back to Missouri, I committed to doing a 1.92 mile loop almost every day until Jack and I joined a gym and I threw some elliptical work into the mix. I'm finally starting to feel fitter and my little post-preggers belly is sloowwlly burning away. For February, (once the storm of the century is over) my plan is to increase the mileage, add in some swimming and keep up with those gentle, patient mantras.
|1/1-15||1.5 miles/day||Walking my mom's dog 3x/day|
|1/23||30:00||Precor elliptical (+ climbing wall)|
|1/26||30:00||Precor elliptical (+ upper body lifting)|
|1/27||30:00||Precor elliptical (+ ab work)|