Change of Pace

I've begun the year with a head cold that's spread to my lungs and I've been a miserable, sneezing, coughing, phlegmy, pathetic creature pretty much since January 1st. Knowing that I was getting sick, it may not have been the wisest decision to run the four mile New Year's Eve race in the park, but it was fun and it was a hoot to run the race in formal wear. It doesn't count towards the nine races to qualify for next year's New York Marathon and it isn't even chip timed, so in hindsight, it's a little hard to see why it costs $35 dollars to enter or why people actually pay it. The fireworks were nice, but since they start at the same time the race does, the runners pretty much miss out on the best part of the show. We did it in about 31 minutes, so it was really more of a fun run than a race, but I can't complain since I really should have been in bed anyway trying to avoid these nasty germs that have laid me low since then.

So there's not a whole lot to say thus far about this year in terms of running since today was the first time I've ventured out for a few tentative miles. I did end up finishing up last year though with a full 2,400 miles which is 568 more than last year, 1,278 more than in 2005 and 1,928 more than in all of 2004! The hardest part now is going to be facing the daunting task of outdoing myself again this year. Honestly, right now, feeling the way I do...it's a tough thing to even think about.

At some point I'll have to set some actual goals, but the only goal right now is just getting back into a regular workout schedule. After I ran Columbus I had ambitious ideas about preparing to run a fast late spring/early summer marathon, but at this point, reality dictates that I think more seriously about building a solid base this spring and then training hard all summer again for something meaningful in the fall. But right at this moment, I'm going to just concentrate on trying to run four miles at a time without coughing up the majority of my lung tissue.

I hate being sick. I mean, I know, duh, who doesn't? But right now, I am really, really, really tired of it. I've been on super strength anti-Bees for nearly a week now and without question, I feel a google times better than I did last Tuesday, but who knew my little head was capable of producing this much mucous? And the cough. I am SO friggin' sick of this cough that will not go away.

It doesn't help that my work situation continues to deteriorate while my anxiously anticipated fourth-round job interview is taking its sweet time to materialize. I've made a point of keeping as positive an attitude as I possibly can, but...well...that was going to lead into some sort of negativism, so I'm just going to choose not to go there. I sometimes worry that it's my own attitude that's created the dark cloud around my workplace, but it's somewhat comforting to know that it isn't just me and lately, a lot of people I work with are feeling just as bewildered and pessimistic about the direction things are going in.

Still, despite my miserable state of being, I have started running again, and not as slow as I would have expected. I tire easily though and I'm sure my heart rate is way above where it ought to be. I'm finding it difficult to be patient and I'm finding it even harder to stay motivated. I don't think I was exactly leaping out of bed in the mornings during my higher mileage weeks this past summer, but I don't remember feeling so heavy and sluggish either. I'm hoping to just try and keep up a steady, manageable schedule and eventually plow through this ennui as I have in the past. But that doesn't make it any easier when the alarm goes off and it's still dark outside and I'd really rather roll over and go back to sleep.

What I should do is print out a couple of Zeke and Meghan's recent blog entries about the frigid temperatures that they are soldiering through or one of Kate's, where she talks about starting back with the running two weeks after a friggin' c-section and just read them when I wake up to shame myself out of bed and into the well-above-freezing climate of central park.

As for the competitive side of this running thing, the part that usually serves as a significant source of motivation for me, I have not run a single race since my marathon in October. (Disregarding the New Year's 4-miler which I did not race) The next event I had planned on competing in was the Manhattan Half, which is now less than a week away. Last year I ran it as a relaxed tempo, the goal being a comfortable negative split and I finished with an age group prize and a very respectable 1:33. I don't feel at all up to that right now, but I wonder if it I can at least run that distance at 8 pace. I think I'll wait and see if any of my friends want to do it and then maybe just run it for fun. Unless of course everybody else's feeling up for a faster race in which case maybe I'll just cheer.