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June 10, 2008
Mental Breakdown (in a good way)
I broke down. I took Joe Positive's advice and I called Northwestern Hospital - they have a great reputation in sports medicine. At approximately 1:00 PM on Thursday, I will know whether or not the race is a go. In my gut, I have a very good feeling that I will be at the start in 11 days.
In the meantime, here is a look at my typical day:
1) wake up
2) take pain-killers
3) ice
4) walk for 60 minutes
5) ice
6) apply icy-hot patch - good for 8 hours!!
7) work, work, work to keep my mind occupied
8) walk some more
9) ice
10) hot shower
11) more pain-killers
12) apply Therma-Care heating pad
13) pray to running gods and goddesses
14) sleep (restlessly . . . my back regresses at night and progresses as the day goes on)
I manage to eat, too :) This is exactly how my days have crawled since Saturday afternoon. I am feeling much more optimistic because this somewhat obsessive-compulsive routine has resulted in a better back.
I feel better after walking, and I am tempted to throw in some light jogs tomorrow before I see the doctor on Thursday. That way I will be able to tell him honestly whether or not things hurt when I run. I know I definitely have some kind of muscle hiccup or spasm on the right side that is killing me. My primary hope is that this is NOT related to my spinal problems. If this is all muscular, then I will be good to go!
That said, I am prepared to do whatever the doctor says. I made a doctor's appointment because I know that I am too emotionally, mentally, and physically invested in this marathon to make a 110% rational decision. In my mind, I am running this damn thing. However, I have spent 28 years figuring out that it's not always wise to trust what my mind screams out in thunderous booms. Sometimes I need to step back, let other voices creep in, and then make an informed decision.
Plus, I still feel like I am scratching the surface, especially in terms of the marathon. This race has always been planned as a dress rehearsal for the big dance in October . . . this Fall marks the moment to rip a gigantic PR. So long as I keep that perspective fresh in my mind, I will be okay with whatever the doctor suggests. I am actually kind of surprised at how calm and at peace I feel about all of this. A few years ago, I would have been tossing some tantrums like a 2 year-old. It's amazing how we mature as athletes :)
Thank you all so so so so much for the comments!!!
If I do race, I can guarantee you that I will be the most rested athlete there ;)
Posted by bridget at June 10, 2008 10:13 PM
Comments
I'll be thinking about you Thursday.
Posted by: joe positive at June 11, 2008 9:01 AM
You're going to be on that starting line wondering what you were ever worried about. At least, that's my dream for you. Be determined but be smart. We'll be here rooting for you no matter what!
Posted by: Salty at June 11, 2008 11:32 AM
My friend Tom told me that tapering was invented by accident by some person in ye olden dayes who got wicked sick before a big race and much to his (well rested) surprise had the race of his life!
Posted by: Amanda at June 11, 2008 8:28 PM
bridget i am thinking about you! i know that everything is going to be fine! im praying for you!
Posted by: at June 12, 2008 9:46 PM
yeah - "somewhat" obsessive compulsive!!! love to your back - you are ready to roll!
Posted by: carrie g. at June 13, 2008 1:45 PM
The love to make a child happy,
will have healed your soul,
You know what you are doing,
be it Tango or Rock&Roll,
the roadrace of a Lifetime,
or the time to have a Ball.
There's no hurry in the rhythm,
just repetition of the mind,
step by step repeating,
the Mind and Body find.
But it will be the inner spirit,
to tell you what to do,
calmly and collected,
make a fine decision true.
Posted by: corrado giambalvo at June 17, 2008 7:14 PM