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June 9, 2008
Marathon in Jeopardy - Trying Not to Panic
There are very few things in life that I absolutely HATE, but I absolutely HATE getting injured . . . especially when the injury results more from a freak incident than anything running/training related. Sometimes I would much prefer to at least get hurt running!
TWELVE days out from the race and I have no idea whether or not I will be at the start line. To say that this doesn't feel very good is like saying I have tummy ache. It's a gross understatement. How do I really feel? I feel mostly sad . . . and angry at myself. A few years ago (almost two, to be exact), I was sidelined with a back injury. I was convinced that I had a stress fracture, but several tests and doctor visits confirmed that I had Degenerative Disc Disease in my lumbar spine. Basically, I have an arthritic lower back and I have 2 bulging discs. When I found this out two years ago, I hung up the running shoes . . . and I was prepared to hang them up for good. I was only 26!!!
But then, like I usually do, I studied the disease and found out that it sounded a lot scarier than it was. If I was careful, I could resume running again, and 4 months later, I did. I built back up very slowly and I haven't felt a lick of pain since the diagnosis. However, I have known all along that my lower back is incredibly weak. I have had two years to focus on core training and strengthening, and you know what? I haven't done a gosh darn thing to strengthen it. Sure, I tried Pilates. Sure, I've done a few thousand sit-ups in 24 months. But I haven't done anything consistent. Maybe I had this coming to me :(
Anyway, I kicked off Saturday with the worst workout that I have had in this marathon training cycle. I couldn't hit any of the assigned paces and I couldn't mentally focus. It was also creeping into the 80s, the humidity was as a thick as Aunt Jemima syrup, and I was sweating more than I have sweat in the past few months . . . combined! Needless to say, I was in bad shape and I was sucking wind (and having flashbacks to Chicago 2007!).
When I finished the run (10 miles of tears and agony), I met up with Colleen and my 3 year-old niece, Rosie, for Chicago's annual Wondergirl Girls on the Run 5K. There were thousands of people at the race, and seeing a bunch of girls ages 7-14 wearing tiaras and celebrating the beauty of their bodies instead of tearing them down really boosted my mood. I am a big advocate of instilling positive self-esteem in young girls - I wish more young women (and us adult women) admired the strength of our bodies instead of nervously fidgeting over being a size 2 or a specific number on the scale. I'm pretty convinced that ALL women struggle with their body image on some kind of continuum.
Anyway, Rosie is only 3 so both Colleen and I knew that there was no way that she could possibly last for a 5K! So I decided that it would be fun to give her piggy-back rides, and to make it even more fun, she could steer me like a car! Truly, it was the most fun that I have had in a LONG time! But Colleen was worried. She knows my lower back is weak and she knows that I have a marathon in the works. She kept offering to take Rosie and she kept saying, "I don't want you to hurt your back." I insisted that I was 100% fine! And I felt fine . . . completely fine. But as soon as the race was over and I started to walk, I knew I was in serious trouble. My entire lower back crunched into a spasm and I almost immediately lost my full range of motion.
Obviously, I didn't run yesterday because I couldn't do anything active. I walked a little this morning and I am going to walk again tonight, but I am still very worried. If I cannot run for a week, I don't exactly feel comfortable with the idea of racing a marathon. I know all of the hard work is done, and I know that there is no workout that I can run in the next few days that will make me run a faster time in twelve days, but I at least need the psychological confirmation that I have maintained my fitness by running . . . even if its only easy running.
I am trying not to panic. In the grand scheme of things, this is NOT a big deal. My friend, Jamie, had to miss the Olympic Trials because of an injury. That is something to get upset about. As far as I know, the Grandma's marathon is run every 365 days, and if I cannot make it to the start of this race, I always have Chicago in the fall.
A part of me is still angry, though - I have to be honest and admit that to myself. I have been working extremely hard over the past few months and I want to reap the rewards of that hard work. I am itching to race and let my fitness carry me to a gigantic new PR. I know I am in sub 2:50 shape, and - damn it - I want to run! I've spent months getting up at 4:30AM to train. I've gradually built my miles from 50 to 60 to 70 to 80 to 85! I've stretched religiously. I've iced when I needed to. BUT I have not focused on core strength or staying as hydrated as I should have. Lessons learned. Lesson learned the very hard way.
No tears yet. I am taking this 24 hours at a time. Things have improved in the last 24 hours. My rule of thumb: If I can run after 5 days of rest, then I will pack the car and head to Duluth. If I am still in pain, then it's time to face it, rest and cross-train for a bit, and keep my eyes on Chicago in the fall.
Posted by bridget at June 9, 2008 4:17 PM
Comments
How frustrating, but good for you for staying calm and keeping this all in perspective. My theory on freak injuries is that since they usually pop up suddenly, they can go away just as suddenly...and hopefully yours will. I had a freak injury a month or so ago, and a week off took care of it. Plus, since it wasn't running per se that caused your injury, when it does go away, running probably won't bother it.
I really hope you're able to run the race, but you will still be an amazing person even if you can't. Remember, even if you don't run the race, it's not like you lose all of that fitness--it'll still be with you when you train for your next marathon. And geez, if you're going to get a freak injury, what a great way to get it!
Good luck.
Posted by: Alison at June 9, 2008 6:42 PM
Oh Bridget! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. I really feel like you're going to make it. I hope so!!!
Posted by: Salty at June 9, 2008 7:21 PM
Godspeed!
Posted by: Alejandro at June 9, 2008 8:35 PM
My mother has that disease and it can be a bitch at times. And the thing about backs is they're so freaking fickle to begin with.
So, a couple things, although your coach probably has this covered: 1. can you get into to see a message therapist or PT or someone who might be to alleviated the pain; 2. is there any possibility whatsoever you can pool run; sometimes deep water running is less taxing than walking?
Thoughts w/ you. Take a breath and try to be patient (yes, coming from the most impatient person on the planet).
Posted by: tuscaloosarunner at June 10, 2008 5:04 AM
Get to a doctor or chiropractor NOW. Let them check you out with xrays or what-have-you, to see if the disc degeneration has progressed. Hopefully it hasn't, and a muscle relaxant (and a massage) can help ease the back pain.
Posted by: joe positive at June 10, 2008 8:13 AM
Get to a doctor or chiropractor NOW. Let them check you out with xrays or what-have-you, to see if the disc degeneration has progressed. Hopefully it hasn't, and a muscle relaxant (and a massage) can help ease the back pain.
Posted by: joe positive at June 10, 2008 8:15 AM
Get to a doctor or chiropractor NOW. Let them check you out with xrays or what-have-you, to see if the disc degeneration has progressed. Hopefully it hasn't, and a muscle relaxant (and a massage) can help ease the back pain.
Posted by: joe positive at June 10, 2008 8:16 AM
oops, sorry about the 3-comments-in-a-row. But I *really* mean it :-)
Posted by: joe positive at June 10, 2008 9:21 AM
thinking of you!
Posted by: carrie g. at June 10, 2008 11:58 AM
Hey Didge, I obviously feel horrible about your back - especially given the circumstances that triggered it. I'm thinking tons of positive thoughts for you. Your attitude is just incredible. Love you.
Posted by: Colleen at June 10, 2008 2:56 PM
1) You kick ass and will be ok - tweaks ALWAYS pop up during the taper.
2) If it is still really bothering you, listen and wait until Chicago. It isn't worth it. You are too great of a runner.
3) Do the core exercises. As often as possible. Especially now when you have time. It makes a HUGE difference. You will be so glad you did and I am willing to bet it will take you to an entirely new level.
4) Refocus, regroup. You are amazing. You have trained so hard. You have what it takes. You are tapering and "nuances" ALWAYS appear. Mentally conquer, hydrate, have good nutrition, and you will do fine.
5) Bring your mental game and it is yours.
6) If you have to scrap it (for whatever reason), YELL REALLY LOUD AND GET IT OUT, but then remember, there is always next season and be thankful for the gifts you have.
I look forward to watching you take names, B.
Posted by: mindi at June 10, 2008 9:52 PM