« Packing the Car | Main | The Gift of Time and Distance »
June 22, 2008
Disappointed
I will write more tomorrow, but the title of this entry pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about my race in Duluth. I knew as early as mile 11 that the day was not going to be there for me so the final 15 miles of the race were rather long and lonesome - something I am sure I will reflect upon tomorrow as I try to compose some kind of post-race analysis.
Right now I am mostly experiencing the post-race depression; to be frank, I feel a little lost and sad and down . . . but like all storms in life, this, too, shall pass, and when it does, there will be something bright awaiting on the horizon. The eternal optimist in me will come roaring back, but - for now - I need to sit with this feeling of disappointment and let it slowly crawl out of my mind, my heart, and my body. It will. In time.
I finished 13th in 2:57. My sisters cautiously called me after the race - their voices stuck in a kind of nomadic space: they wondered if I would be happy with a "sub 3" or if I would be disappointed in not dipping further south under that benchmark. I will confess that I was reduced to tears at the finish: my goal wasn't to run "just' a sub 3 . . . it was to see how close to cracking 2:50 I could come. I executed H.'s race plan perfectly. I took it out almost too conservatively for my liking. I was sure - at mile 9 - that I had this sucker. But it's the marathon and it swallowed me . . . it swallowed me good. I never hit a wall, but I felt terrible 70+ minutes into the course and it just never got any better.
Anyway, I have a lot to think about. I will be on a forced running vacation for the next few weeks. I went into this race a little banged up and then I kind of blew out my IT Band at mile 17. I don't know badly I injured it yet because all of my muscles are still on fire, but I imagine I will know in the next couple of days. It's time heal the old body, though. There is little doubt in my mind that the IT Band is related to the glutes, which are related to the back, which is related to the SI Joint . . . it's time to finally take a break and heal. Hopefully I will find some interesting cross-training stories to share :)
Posted by bridget at June 22, 2008 9:41 PM
Comments
Bridget! First: you ran a pr. A pr is a pr. I know a pr can still be disappointing, but it's still a step in the right direction.
Second: there was no way you were going to run up to your potential with almost 2 weeks of no running leading up to this race. It just wasn't going to happen. The fact that you made it to the starting line and still pulled a pr is great and I'm not sure given everything you've dealt with over the last couple of weeks that you could ask for a whole lot more.
Third: You can go into Chicago without that 3:00 thing looming over your head. Granted, it shouldn't anymore considering you are capable of so much faster now, but psychologically any barrier that 3:00 mark had over you is gone and you can focus on smashing this new pr.
Fourth: Now you go to Chicago even hungrier. Sometimes we need a disappointment to really reach our potential.
Anyway, I am proud of you and I was going out and giving mrp updates every time one of your splits popped up. He's planning to run Chicago this year and his pr is 2:48 so maybe you two will run together at some point (although just between you and me, I want the girl to win :) Me and peanut will be out there cheering for both of you!
Posted by: Salty at June 23, 2008 7:37 AM
Hey Bridget!! Sorry you didn't quite get the race you wanted. I know what that disappointment feels like. But I agree with Salty - a PR is a PR and I think we have to cherish each one!!! Breaking that 3 hour barrier is HUGE!!! Very, very few woman can say they've done it. So huge congrats and here's to a happy and healthy recovery! Now at Chicago...watch out...because you will be hungry and that much more ready to bust through 2:50!!!
Posted by: Beth at June 23, 2008 10:14 AM
Bridget,
That glass you are looking at is not half empty - it is more than half full. While "a little banged up," you set a PR, got well under 3:00, and got a real taste of what getting under 2:50 will be like. You took a big step forward - enjoy it! Next time, you will take another big step forward. And the time after that, another.
Congratulations!
Gerard
Posted by: Gerard at June 23, 2008 6:29 PM
Bridget,
That glass you are looking at is not half empty - it is more than half full. While "a little banged up," you set a PR, got well under 3:00, and got a real taste of what getting under 2:50 will be like. You took a big step forward - enjoy it! Next time, you will take another big step forward. And the time after that, another.
Congratulations!
Gerard
Posted by: Gerard at June 23, 2008 6:29 PM
I just wanted to second everything already said by Salty, Beth and Gerard.
Also, I saw first hand what "a little banged up" means and to us mere mortals, that would really mean "hang up the running shoes for a bit and don't even think about racing a marathon." I'm super proud of you. I think it's much harder to continue to race a race - a marathon no less - when you know you aren't going to hit the time you are gunning for. Many would just drop out. I think your gutting it out (to a sub-3!) says a great deal about your character. Love you!
Posted by: colleen at June 24, 2008 3:32 PM
B-
Been there, done that (...well, the disappointing marathon - hardly the sub-3!). It sucks, I hear you. Nothing anyone can say will make it any less disappointing. That is what makes marathoning so tough - you can pour your heart and soul into 5+ months of training, but if it isn't your day (for whatever reason), you are set for disappointment. In contrast, if you hit it, you are on top of the world. Remember that and trek on. You are an incredibly talented athlete and your day will come soon. If it makes you feel any better, all of my friends that ran Grandmas ended up with positive splits due to the heat. Excuses? No. Looking forward. Absolutely. I have my bets placed on you for any race. You have talent, you are driven and you will succeed. I have no doubt. In the interim, enjoy your rest, reflect on what was good in Duluth (trust me, it will make you feel better) and move on.
Oh yeah, and I am incredibly impressed with your disappointing race. You were injured and you still came in 13th at Grandma's?! Grandmas is known for an incredibly talented field. That is you. Write that one down and look at it in 30 years!
Posted by: Mindi at June 26, 2008 9:27 PM
feel how you want to feel.
excelent job.
Posted by: corrado giambalvo at June 27, 2008 5:20 AM
feel how you want to feel.
excelent job.
Posted by: corrado giambalvo at June 27, 2008 5:21 AM
Bridget,
Hi there! It has been awhile since your marathon. But I think of you often. I hope this posting finds you well rested and your IT bands loose and free of painful lumps.
We set goals, we work so hard to achieve them, but it doesn't always happen. Make the best of the experience and try to learn and grow from those experiences. I hope that through your sub 3-hour marathon (remarkable), you were able to take away some valuable lessons and experiences, which will ultimately enable you to come back stronger and with the confidence to shatter your life goals and dreams. Keep working toward your goals, whatever they may be, and remember to have fun along the way!
I would welcome the opportunity to run along side you during the Chicago Marathon again, if not this year, another! Let's make it happen again (with more tolerable weather, of course)! Keep your head firmly planted atop your shoulders!
Passion, heart and talent appropriately describes you. Don't let them slip away!
Amy R. Haney
Posted by: Amy Haney at July 27, 2008 8:26 PM