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October 24, 2007

Picking up the Pieces

I cannot explain how humbling this whole marathon experience has been - I am grateful for all of the encouragement, support, and most of all, the comments that I have received. It reminds why I love this sport so much - runners truly are a rare breed of human species. I am especially excited that I have a few more blogs to read now (Salty one, Brent, Tuscaloosarunner, and Nugai).

We are 18 days post-sauna and I am finally starting to detox from the rustiness, sluggishness, and perpetual disorientation. I haven't felt quite right since the race - I was explaining to my friend, Carrie (who is running a 50k this weekend!), that I feel like I got whiplashed by a semi-truck. I also feel like an alien, but that may or may not be running related ;)

I didn't run the week after the race, I ran 31 miles last week, and I am on my way to 40 or so miles this week. I jumped into two workouts with H. and friends, and although it took me 4 miles to warm-up, I felt like a "runner" again. H. pushed me a little bit on Tuesday: we ran a 6 mile tempo. We lumbered through the first three in 20:00, but we blazed home in 18:45. Somewhere between miles 5 and 6, H. looked over to me and quietly said (with a hint of a smile), "You still have it." He knows the self-doubt that we all experience post race.

Up next: a FUN FUN FUN trick or treat 10K on Sunday! Obviously, I am not ready to race yet, but I am ready to rock it for a few miles, smile a mile wide, and just have a blast. I would be shocked if I broke 40:00; my eventual goal is to break 38:00 and then 37:00, but, for now, I just want to enjoy tossing one foot in front of the other. After that, B. and I are off the NYC to watch the trials, and to cheer on H. and a few of my friends in the marathon on Sunday.

And, as a nod to Tuscaloosarunner, I have put on 5 pounds since the marathon - I haven't turned down a piece of cake or any candy since the race! I am a strong believer in allowing our bodies to regenerate and recharge after a long training session. I worked extremely hard for 10 months . . . it's nice to let loose, gain a few happy pounds, and just run for running's sake. In another week or two, I will put on the serious face again, but not yet.

Below is a race picture from the chicago distance classic half marathon . . . the marathon pictures are too depressing to post!

Posted by bridget at 8:29 PM | Comments (3)

October 17, 2007

10 days later: post-marathon blues

It's been 10 days since the race and while the buzz surrounding the chaos has started to fizzle, the memory of what went down is as clear and vivid in my mind as crystal. I don't want to resort to any kind of "woe is me" rhetoric because I do not believe in dwelling on the past or allowing sadness to completely paralyze us and hand-cuff us to a dark place. But I have to admit that a part of me is just sad. I am sad for what happened on the course; I am sad for all of the runners; I am sad for all of the lost goals . . . goals completely evaporated by some of the worst conditions imaginable for a 26.2 adventure.

I think part of my sadness has something to do with crumbs. Yes: Crumbs. It's kind of like when we eat a delicious piece of carrot cake. Everything tastes heavenly - the perfectly whipped cream cheese frosting, the fluffy cake that melts in your mouth and sizzles on your tongue - but after all of that deliciousness, all that we have left are crumbs (talk about disappointment!). Although I realize this is a poor and somewhat illogical analogy, I feel like all that I have left now - after the most delectable training experience of my life - are crumbs. I grew accustomed to flying 100 miles per minute: pounding out 60-80 miles per week, rising at 4:30 am to kick off my day, chasing H. during countless saturday runs and "tempo tuesdays." I truly enjoyed every moment of training over the past 10 months - including the sore quads and stabbing pains!

And, suddenly, I am glued to the couch and drowning my sorrows in work, work, work. I am realizing now how much a running routine balances me. I have spent the past week subsisting on 2-4 hours of sleep, commenting furiously on student papers, obsessing over lesson plans . . . I desperately need a distraction . . . I desperately need to meet my old friend - running - again.

That said, I have tried to enjoy every day off since the race. I cannot even begin to explain the toll the conditions have taken on my body: I still feel robbed of all of my energy and bounce. I even had an embarrassing "brain cramp" in front of my students: I wrote a simple word on the board and then I stared at the word ("demand") and I could not pronounce it. To say that I have been slightly disoriented and "out of it" is quite an understatement. And aside from the fact that I have lost my ability to think and process information, I feel like complete sh*t. :(

I did run on Tuesday and I felt okay, but I could still feel the marathon roaring in my legs. It's amazing to think that just three weeks ago, I was ripping 6:15s like they were 8:15s and now . . . well, everything hurts.

I did not run today - I crashed and burned and fell asleep as soon as I finished teaching instead. As I type this now, I am mad at myself for not doing at least something! I hate this feeling of gluttony and laziness. Blah.

I am meeting H and friends in the morning . . . hopefully that will inject a ray of sunshine into my current stormy mood. I know that my race in Chicago was a true reflection of my training and toughness . . . but I think anytime we aim so high and miss our goal, it's hard to digest.

But alas, it is 11:00 PM and I should steal some sleep before the alarm sings at 4:30 AM.

Posted by bridget at 10:40 PM | Comments (6)

October 8, 2007

23rd in Chicago: 3:00:38. It was Brutal.

I am too tired to write up another recap, so I am posting the email that I just sent to my family and friends:

Several people have sent me emails since the news reports started swirling after yesterday's Chicago Marathon so I thought I would write-up a recap of the race and send it out. It goes without saying that the race was the most brutal, and the most mentally and physically gut-wrenching race that I have ever run. I'm not even sure how to explain it or describe what it was like . . . other than to say that when all was said and done, it was both eerie and scary. Time goals aside, I think most of us were just happy to finish or to call it a day.

That said, the day started normal enough - K., A. and I spent some time in the top 100 tent gearing up for the race; the other runners inside the tent were fairly intense and intimidating, but having K. and A. to warm up with made the morning surprisingly relaxing and calm. And while I think we were all concerned about the weather reports, we remained focused on the task ahead. I cannot even begin to express how amazing it was to be amongst friends before the gun snapped. I owe everyone a hug and a giant "thank you!"

The race started off well. I decided to stick with my Plan B, at least through the half, and then reassess. My goal was to run between 2:50 - 2:52. I hit the half in exactly 1:25:36 and I was almost frightened at how easily the time came. 6:30s were rolling like butter at that point and I felt great. When I saw my twin sister at mile 11, I remember yelling to her, "Anne! I'm on 2:51 pace!!!" However, shortly after the half - and with the blink of an eye - I felt awful. I was never pushing the pace cardio wise, but as soon as we hit the sun running west down Adams street, I knew I was in trouble. It was at this point that I made a decision to simply hang in there and forget about running 2:52 or faster - that would have to wait until the next race.

At mile 16, my friend J. unexpectedly jumped in. For those who don't know J., she ran 2:43 last year and qualified for the 2008 US Olympic Marathon Trials. To have her running step by step beside me changed both my attitude and my race. At mile 17, I told her that I didn't think I could make it. I was losing circulation in both my hands and my feet at that point, but J. kept me focused. She told me to dump water over my head at the next aid station and that I would feel better - she also made sure that I ran in the shade at every opportunity. She refused to let me think negative thoughts. Miles 16-20 were the final of my sub 7:00s, but I was so grateful to make it to 20 feeling at least okay. J. jumped off shortly thereafter (keeping me on 2:53 - 2:55 pace); if she had not been beside me, I am pretty sure that my race would have been much uglier than it was.

The second big boost was seeing my husband, B. (who showed up in at least 5 different places on the course), near mile 20 in Pilsen with a microphone in his hand yelling "Go Bridget." The crowds picked up on it and J. got everyone excited as we ran along . . . moments like that made this race incredibly memorable and special. To add to that, Ron D. - another Universal Sole teammate - handed me an ice cold bottle of water as I headed into miles 20-21. That was a saving grace.

I won't go into much detail over the final 10K, other than to say that it was lonely and scary, but also a time to reflect on the 10 months I spent getting here. I am not sure if everyone knows this, but I had pretty much quit running last year until the November day that my friend Kristen invited me to run with her group. I had to stop on our first run because I got a side stitch! I was just relieved to be invited back :) The running fire was lit again, and my news friends kept it hot. One of those friends, H., is really responsible for making me more mentally and physically tougher than I have ever been. He also gave me something invaluable: confidence. H. spent a lot of time and energy getting me ready for this race and I do not even know how to thank him.

To make a long story short, I ended up finishing in 3:00:38 (6:53 pace), 23rd overall, 2nd in Illinois, and 14th American. I think the fact alone that a 3:00 marathon warranted that kind of high finish points to the brutality of the conditions out there. I'm pretty sure that 3:00 is usually closer to 100th place! But, I am grateful to have finished . . . and, in retrospect, to have finished just 10 minutes off of my goal time. Of course, it would have been nice to chop off those final 39 seconds, but I am not complaining ;)

When I finished, John and H. immediately got me help - my hands and legs were ice cold from an almost total loss of circulation. I had a horrible headache and a mad case of the chills. People were worried, but after about 25 minutes, I started to get some feeling back. The guy helping me asked me how long I had been feeling like that . . . when I told the final 9 miles of the race, I think he was surprised. Some people might think I was stupid to keep going. I think this day made me tougher.

I owe more thanks than I can give to J., my family - who were EVERYWHERE yesterday!, B., my training partners!!, John - who took care of me at the finish (I was a mess) and H.

Posted by bridget at 12:10 PM | Comments (12)

October 2, 2007

5 Days! Jitters, Butterflies and OH MY GOODNESS!

I know, totally ridiculous, verbose, and nervous title. I cannot think of an appropriate title - especially as I sit here anxiously swimming in my pre-race thoughts and jitters. My skin crawls and chills every time I think about the race . . . and tapering doesn't help. While I LOVE a good taper, I am suddenly finding myself extra shaky, jumpy and edgy. My legs are ready to rev up and run like bullets, but I *HAVE* to force myself to keep everything under control. Note to self: No PRS in training runs the week of the race (I made this mistake heading into the Milwaukee Marathon 2 years ago).

As far as training goes, I have done everything that I was supposed to do over the last few months to prepare my mind, heart, and body for this race. I have run everyday but Mondays, and I have religiously followed a schedule that called for tempos on Tuesdays, repeats on Thursdays, 12-15 mile strength and marathon pace runs on Saturdays and long runs on Sundays. I am confident and hopeful that the 4 weeks of hard 15 milers on Saturdays, followed by 20 milers on Sundays, have prepared me to RACE (not just run) miles 17-26.2. I am both stronger and leaner than I have ever been, and it's the first time since 2001 that I have approached the starting line of a marathon without an ache or an injury. Consistency is magic; let's hope it shines on Sunday!

People are already freaking out about the weather. Apparently, we are in for high temps, high humidity, strong winds and rain. I won't worry until Thursday, and even then, I will try to keep the weather woes to a minimum. I have trained through several lightning, thunder, and rain storms. It's not my favorite forecast, but it's also a variable - a wild card - that I cannot control for. Sure, I'll be bummed it we have to run through all of the above crap, but I refuse to let that zap my energy.

As far as times are concerned, I feel silly even admitting publicly what I hope to run. But my training indicate a 2:50 is possible. In an ideal world, a sub 2:50 would be sweeter than candy. But I am going to focus on 2:50 for now (which, I know, sounds insane). I will not be satisfied with just a sub 3 at this point . . . I feel like I have trained harder than a 2:59.

H. and I had a long talk about the race on Sunday . . . if H. thinks I can really run well, then I feel better :) So far, he has predicted all of my race times +/- 30 seconds or so. I am going to trust his wisdom and just run the splits he typed out for me (which are now hanging on my refrigerator!).

Anyway, I don't want to expend too much time thinking about time!

Needless to say, I am SCARED! Bill Rodgers once proclaimed that the "marathon will humble you." A true statement indeed. It is with great respect and humility that I am approaching October 7th.

Most importantly, though, I cannot wait to see my family and friends along the race course! I know that I will need to feed off of their energy in order to run my best . . . there's something energizing about hearing your name out there.

And for those of you who remember Margaret Bradley, this race is for her (it goes without saying that she would have been shooting for a 2:46:59).

Posted by bridget at 6:27 PM | Comments (11)