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August 28, 2007

Blogging Because I (desperately) Need to Procrastinate

I am prone to freak outs, and I am freaking out. I am not in the midst of a running freak-out, but I am in the midst of an "OhMyGoshHowInTheWorldAmIGoingToRunWriteTeachBreatheEatSleep." SLEEP! Sleep be gone. It's only the 2nd day of classes and I am already contemplating an all-nighter. I have almost 90 students with 90 very colorful and different personalities. Two of my classes have the potential to crash and burn. Two have the potential to be Wow-Tastic!

I need to keep reminding myself that I am the one driving the boat this week - while I don't have complete control over the class dynamic, I do have some control over whether or not it sinks or floats. I would love to have four floaters, but we'll see. I am cautiously optimistic, but cynically realistic.

ANYWAY, my running is still going strong! I have four more weeks of gut-wrenching workouts and then I skate into a two week taper (butterflies are tumbling!). I cannot believe the Chicago Marathon is only 6 weeks away . . . I can hear the gun snap as I type.

I hit 68 miles last week (this week - a big drop back week - will be 60 and next week will be close 80). I had three solid workouts: A Tuesday Fartlek where we ran 4 minutes easy and 3 minutes hard, but the hard and easy intersected in the end and we were running 6:15 pace for the hard and 6:30 for the easy. Solid work! Thursday was 4x1200. I tanked. The goal was to hit 4:25 with 60 seconds rest. I hit 4:23, 4:26, 4:27, 4:29. OUCH.

I am running on extremely fatigued and tired legs, BUT my times are a second or three faster than they were a few weeks ago. While that is good, H. said I was being "mental" on Thursday and that I let my mental doubt impact my workout . . . I don't have enough time to deconstruct my mental state at the moment, but I don't doubt his assessment. He is generally dead on.

On Saturday we ran 15 miles with 12 miles hard. The goal was to alternate hard and easy miles 7:15/6:15. I was slow on the first hard mile (6:18), but then my final five miles were 6:06, 6:15, 6:08, 6:09, 6:01. The easy miles were all between 6:45 - 6:55. I wanted to quit at mile 3, but H. quietly encouraged me to hang in there - he reminded me that my legs would wake up. He also asked a rhetorical question: "Well, how do you think you are going to feel at mile 24?" Yeah - I had to pull it together after that!

On Sunday I ran a blissfully easy 20 miles - the goal was to spend as much time on my feet as possible and run easy. Run easy I did. And - damn - I enjoyed it!

I rested on Monday (my Sabbath in this training cycle). Today I hit the lakefront for 12 miles. I warmed up and cooled down for 5 miles and did a 7.25 mile progression run starting at 6:50 pace, 6:35, 6:30, 6:2?, 6:11, 6:12, 6:22 (OOPS). I am not going to over-analyze the final mile in 6:22. It is what it is.

I'm exhausted - too exhausted to do any work (especially since I woke up at 4:15AM and hit the lakefront to run by 5:00AM). It's 9:46PM and I have at least 6 hours of work ahead of me.

And so it begins. I just CANNOT let my running go to shit now - I have worked too hard to lose this rhythm.

But, of course, I AM worried. My work life is important - very important. I have 90 kids who need me to show up everyday and be my energetic and eccentric self. I do not want to fail them. At the same time, I do not want to fail myself after months of hard work. I don't want to toe the line on October 7th and run out of gas at mile 11 because I am tired.

Life is about finding balance. I need to work extra hard to have some kind of balance (at least for the next 6 weeks!).

Posted by bridget at 9:21 PM | Comments (7)

August 26, 2007

Carrie G. Is Back!

This is just a quick note to celebrate the fact that my best girlfriend is back in the blogosphere :) Check out Carrie's blog at Obligation to Endure. She is gearing up for Chicago in 6 weeks and her first ULTRA in the Spring . . . .goooooooo carrrriiiiiieeeeee!

Posted by bridget at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)

August 20, 2007

Rebounding

My last entry was a bit of a downer so I am itching to remove it from the top of this blog! So many of my friends who commented put the race into perspective and Corrado asked some excellent questions. While I cannot wiggle my way around the fact that I still am disappointed in the outcome, I do realize that one race is not always a sure indication of fitness level. Hence, no more distance classic talk - H. made sure that I closed that chapter on Tuesday.

How did H. do that? He refused to feel sorry for me. I took my usual Monday off, and then it was back to work on Tuesday. On Tuesday, I hit the lakefront @ 5:15AM to warm-up, and then I met up with the group and we ran 7 miles @ tempo pace. The goal was to start at 6:30 pace and finish closer to 6:15. I headed into this workout thinking "there is no way in hell I can do this tempo after a race; my legs are too tired; I don't feel good; I suck." Negative self talk! When we started the tempo, I felt like a hung-over twenty year-old; my legs were unresponsive and my entire body just ached.

However, three miles into the tempo, my shoe came untied and I was forced to drop off the pack and tie it up (double knotted this time). This tiny hiccup lit a fire under my heels and sent me into an angry tirade . . . not really, but it injected me with a burst of life and energy. I clipped off the final 4 miles around 6:15 - 6:18 pace. Once again, H. was right - I needed to be pushed on Tuesday whether or not I felt like it. We also ran in pouring rain and lightning - I think the elements made me work harder as well. 12 miles total.

Wednesday: easy 10 (well, not totally "easy" - I ran with a woman who has run 2:43 and her definition of "easy" differs from mine.) Fortunately, she "slowed" to 7:10 - 7:15 pace.

Thursday: 2 mile warm up, 2 cool down. 4 x 1 mile with 60 seconds rest. The goal splits were 6:30, 6:20, 6:10, 6:00. It didn't exactly turn out that way. H. took us out too quickly on the first one and we hit 6:15. H. ran with another group for the rest of the workout, but I got sucked into a fast pace on the second one and clocked a 6:02. H. rightly "lectured" me on the point of the workout :) The next one was a 6:15, and the final one was around 6:00. The pace felt relaxed, but obviously a little schizophrenic.

Friday: 3 easy. "Butters" as I like to say - over 24 minutes.

Saturday: 15 miles of HILLS @ sub 7:00 pace. This was possibly the most difficult training run I have ever done . . . but it was also one of the most rewarding. J., the woman who qualified for the 08 trials with a 2:43, pulled me through this one. She soared up and down the hills like a ballerina - it's quite beautiful to watch her run! If she weren't running beside me, I would have slowed down.

Sunday: 20 miles. H. and I ran through a monstrous rain and thunderstorm to log these miles. I was worried that this run would mark my death as a runner - especially after running 15 miles on hills the previous day! We ran all 20 @ sub 7:30 pace with a few miles between 7:00 - 7:10. Miles 11-15 were a death march, but I got a serious second wind from miles 15-20 and really felt like taking off around 20. I have never run a 20 mile training run so quickly or felt so good at the end. I really thought I was cooked at mile 11!

Today: REST REST REST! I got a massage this morning - which I desperately needed. My legs are admittedly DEAD and trashed, but I have gotten used to this cycle: it never ceases to amaze me how our bodies recover and revive.

It's back to the lakefront tomorrow for another Tempo . . . .

This week also marks the beginning of the school year! I have no idea yet how I am going to maintain my current training intensity when the semester kicks into high gear, but I just keep telling myself that I have to make it to October 7th and then I get a nice, long break :)

Posted by bridget at 1:49 PM | Comments (4)

August 12, 2007

Rough day at the Distance Classic

I don't have a lot to say about my half marathon today, other than I am extremely disappointed in my performance. I clocked a 1:24 and change - well off my PR and nowhere near the level and intensity I have been training at. I went into this race confident that I could comfortably run 1:22 high. That certainly didn't happen and I need to rewind and figure out what did happen.

Some people were quick to point out that the heat and humidity made the conditions less than ideal. True. BUT I have been training in extreme heat and humidity for the past few weeks, and I was still pulling off tempo runs around 6:15 pace. Yes, I got dehydrated, but so did everyone else out there!

A part of me is reeling in anger because the winner of the race snapped the tape in 1:21:20 and I had a chance to chase her and I held back. She beat me in Duluth by 40 or so seconds. She slaughtered me today like a merciless butcher :( I ran with her for 3 miles and then decided - stupidly - to let her go. (I finished 9th overall for the women - there were 4000+ women in the race).

I was definitely tired heading into the race, but I am guessing that most of the women who beat me were also tired and training through this race. My biggest problem was that I couldn't relax and let it roll. I lost focus and I tensed up too much. I was too worried about the clock that I forgot about RACING and extinguished my competitive fire.

Well, the fire is burning again . . . I learned a lot about the kind of runner I want to be.

The worst part about today is that my confidence is shaky - really, really shaky. Before this race, I had a glimmer - just a glimmer - of hope that I might be able to turn in a 2:47 in October. Right now I think I'd be lucky to run 2:50! I don't want to over-analyze this, but this was a harsh reality check. Maybe my dream is just that - an untouchable dream :(

Posted by bridget at 11:12 PM | Comments (6)

August 8, 2007

Do you ever feel like dead weight?

My legs screeched to a screaming halt last week. They literally felt like dead weight . . . hence, a minor freak out. I started to wonder if I was over-training, if I was destined to crawl backward and get slower, if I was doomed to fail as a runner. Sure, I am being dramatic, but I really did freak out! I have adapted to seeing a linear progression since I started running again last November - my times were moving South while my confidence was driving North. Not so last week.

Of course, H. intervened and reassured me that I had to trust the program and push through my death; a great resurrection awaits! (Okay, I'm being dramatic again). The past 4 weeks my mileage has been 61, 63, 65, 60 - believe it or not, this is a huge mileage breakthrough for me; to my legs, this is "high" mileage (Arthur Lydiard just rolled over in his grave . . . ). I need to keep in perspective that my mileage is almost all quality as well. I am running 6 days/week, all singles, 3 workouts/week, and a long run on Sunday. On Tuesdays we run a total of 10-12 miles with 7 @ tempo pace; on Thursdays we usually run 400s or 800s with only 30 seconds rest; and Saturdays we endure pure strength runs at a fast pace - these include anything from ladders on the track to tempo hill runs.

This week is a slight cutback week because I am racing a half marathon on Sunday. I am not tapering for this race, and I am not as confident rolling into this one as I was when I ran my giant PR in June. I don't know if I will replicate a 1:23 even though I should ideally be in 1:21 - 1:22 shape right now. I'm just so darn tired, and the high heat and humidity we are facing in Chicago cannot be discounted. I tend to run well in heat, but I do not run as well in 85% humidity. YUCK.

I am nervous - I just don't want this half to discourage me from gunning it at the big dance in October. This is just a casual dress rehearsal, right? I hope so. The miles are in the bank. I have been working extremely hard. Now I just need to show up on race day and get the job done :)

On a completely non-running related note, I have stepped down from my editing job at Her Active Life. The University of Illinois-Chicago offered me a full time lectureship (with amazing benefits and a 401K!) to teach freshman rhetoric and composition. My old self would have juggled both jobs, which would have resulted in me neglecting my running. I can't do that anymore. I need to focus and prioritize. I have a real shot to take my running to a new level and I need to allow my body the proper rest in order to get there. This means that I need to sleep more than 3-4 hours/night! I am teaching 4 classes so I will have about 100 students - they should keep me PLENTY busy! I think I might teach Naomi Klein's No Logo and supplement it with chapters and articles from all sorts of polemical cultural critics. After all, we live in a McWorld.

Just for Kicks: A picture of my twin sister's new surf board! She is my inspiration!

Posted by bridget at 8:14 PM | Comments (0)