Miles To Go: Running, The "Perfect" Body, and Going Inside the Locker Room

February 24, 2006

Running, The "Perfect" Body, and Going Inside the Locker Room

I mentioned in my previous blog that I have been writing for a new magazine in Chicago, For Her Information, and I have been writing a diverse range of articles. I am just finishing up one article, and I think it relates to something that we face as runners. The author, Leslie Goldman, is releasing a book titled "Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth About Women, Body Image and Re-Imagining the Perfect Body" in June. Goldman spent five years observing and interviewing women in a local Chicago gym . . . inside the locker room. Beneath the flourescent lights, she exposes a lot of not-so-sexy truths about the ways women view their bodies and construct their body images. She is candid about eveything from pregnancy, boobs, bikini-waxes and eating disorders. What she discovers is a diverse range of perspectives and bodies: some women are comfortable with their naked bodies, while others live in a constant state of exercise and starvation. She attaches a microscope to all of these issues and dives into the complexity and tangled webs that animate them. Her words are jarring, provacative, honest, sad, and sometimes even funny.

After I read her manuscript and sat down with her, I started to think of the locker room that I frequent the most: the locker room of our running culture. I have known so many runners who have struggled with their body image, or who have totally crumbled under the enormous weight of an eating disorder. I have tumbled into these arenas as well, and I am not convinced that the wish to lose 10 pounds will ever go away. But it makes me utterly depressed to think about all of the time, energy (mental and physical) and miles that I have wasted negatively thinking about my own body. It's difficult to want to fly in a sport that stereotypically favors the bodies of damn near emaciated men and women. I will never be stick thin or completely sucked out - yet I think I look athletic and healthy.

I have reached a point in my life now that I cringe at the media objectification of women's body and the hegemonic beauty and body norms that our culture perpetuates. Granted, there are women out there who like to flaunt their curves, but even they collapse under the scrutinizing lens of the camera - most the them recycle the same 10-15 pounds over and over again. Is there are a point when we finally toss our hands in the air and say, "Enough! My body is my body and so long as I treat it well, it is what it is!" After struggling with the same 10 pounds for over a year now (and not losing one of them), I have finally thrown my hands in the air . . . and it feels so liberating and weightLESS. This doesn't mean that the desire to lose them will shrink, but it does mean that I am finally at peace with the idea of NOT losing them :)

I don't know if I am making sense - I just feel like eating disorders and distored body images are a huge part of our sport, but they are the parts that we like to sweep under the carpet and not speak about.

Posted by bridget at February 24, 2006 12:49 PM

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-well said-

Posted by: Audrey at February 24, 2006 2:02 PM

I tried to find information about your magazine, but I couldn't find anything. Your new article sounds very interesting. I don't completely hide in the locker room, but I certainly change quickly. It's not because I'm modest and worried about anyone seeing specific body parts, but more so because I don't want anyone seeing the extra fat. I agree that most of us always want to lose 10 pounds. I think about it all the time, but if I were actually trying hard to lose those extra pounds, I'd be spending all my time thinking about what I can or can't eat. It's hard, and it seems to be a no-win situation.

Posted by: Caitlin at February 24, 2006 2:07 PM

bridget - you are my hero!!!

Posted by: Katie at February 24, 2006 8:28 PM

Oh yes, you are making a LOT of sense. I would add after the last word (sport) of your sentence "I just feel like eating disorders and distored body images are a huge part of our sport" and our Society. Running is the tip of the iceberg. Part of the issue has to do with false feelings of wellness and/or pleasure induced by destructive mechanisms and mindsets. To manage and understand this, it is a very uphill workout, against the wind and its cold too. It's rewarding to read posts like yours. yeah. thanks. ciao corrado

Posted by: corrado giambalvo at February 25, 2006 3:55 AM

Locker room behavior is very interesting, not that I've studied it extensively. Having been a swimmer for so much of my life, completely stripping in the locker room was a necessity. In college, we didn't make a big deal about it-took off our suits, put on our clothes while having conversations. There was one school in our conference that had a reputation, and those girls would walk around and take their time buck naked in the locker room.

Now I notice many grown women in the locker room at the gym who go to great lengths to stay covered when they change. I don't know if it is a weight issue or a modesty issue, but I do notice it. Personally, I have come to a point where I am basically comfortable with what my body is, sure a few pounds could go, but I am the strongest that I have been since those swimming days.

The book sounds interesting, but it could tip me the other way. I'll have to look for it in June when it comes out.

Blondie

Posted by: Blondie at February 25, 2006 6:45 PM

well written.

Posted by: brent hopkins at February 26, 2006 6:38 PM

Very well said Bridget, I just got a preview of For Her Information, it's great. So much is unsaid in our sport of running and there are so many silent battles that persist in the mind of female runners of all ages.

Posted by: mary at March 9, 2006 7:41 AM

It sadens me when I see women who feel the need to cover-up in the locker room.

I'm not a lesbian and I don't mean this in a sexual way by any means...but it's kind of nice when you see women in the locker room who have the confidence to be nude in front of other women!

I remember when I started junior high the first day of gym class I and many of the other girls were really nervous when we found out that it was mandatory that we take (communal) showers after gym class. But by the third day, and for the rest of the year, we were so comfortable with the locker room nudity that no-one ever even bothered covering up with a towell anymore when we were walking around the locker room.

For the rest of junior high and high school none of us ever had any embarrassment showering in front of each other or even having conversations about what boys we liked or what we were going to do on Saturday night while standing there nude.

It's a shame that there aren't more woman who feel that comfort level in the women's lkocker room at their gym!

Posted by: Jennifer at April 27, 2006 11:03 PM

I completely agree with this. In running cross country, my mind was always set on how I ran faster when I was 10 pounds skinnier and how I should stop eating carbs due to the low carb diets that became famous. I started to lose touch with the runs where I felt at peace with myself and I lost touch with the side of me that found tranquility and bliss in every run. My new motivation for running was for losing a pound or two. I finally said ENOUGH! I started to love my broad shoulders, and strong legs even though I used to think they looked fat. I started to run to relieve stress, feel good, and love the good things that can be associated with running. I noticiced that by not becoming overly competitive and still desiring to run, I started to feel comfortable with my body and all of its curves. Great Essay, thanks!

Posted by: Christie at December 4, 2006 2:52 PM

February 24, 2006

Running, The "Perfect" Body, and Going Inside the Locker Room

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