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January 12, 2006

Blogging Instead of Running (eeeks)

I have class from 12-5 today and I woke up this morning with the intention of running - I have a hard workout planned and I was looking forward to bolting out of bed and getting to work. Well, that didn't exactly happen. I woke up all groggy and tired, and after about 30 minutes of internally debating myself about whether or not to run, I decided to blog instead! It's kind of quasi-running, right?

I was supposed to do this "cut down" workout on Tuesday, but due to my over-zealous, practically marathon pace 16 mile run on sunday, my legs were too trashed. They were too destroyed to dip under 7:00 and into the arena of the 6;30s. I ran an easy 10 instead. Tonight the plan is to run 10 miles with a 2 mile wu, 2 mile cd and then 6 miles: 7:00, 6:50, 6:50, 6:40, 6:30 and ?? whatever I have left. I can handle the first 4 miles of this workout without too much trouble, but I am terrifed of the final 2. I need to quit thinking about how hard this is going to be and how awful I might feel and focus on my upcoming classes today!

I typically do not think too much about my running - I just run. But having a coach and having real workouts for the first time in years has me thinking more about running.

Other than running (and carrying on internal dialogs with myself), I have been cranking on a 20 page paper that is severely late. I am having a difficult time dissecting the theory I want to use to analyze my subject matter. I love to analyze things and play in different discourses, but this paper is kicking my a**. I absolutely love the topic and the work, but maybe my personal investment and interest in this project is making it more difficult.

On that note, I am going to use the next hour to write, then I will go to class, and then I will come home and RUN. By the way, I have the "View" on in the background and I just learned - and I think I am the last person to learn this - that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby. And I thought my world was complicated . . .

Posted by bridget at 09:57 AM | Comments (5)

January 09, 2006

Why Am I SO Incapable of Reaching 60?

NOT age - MILES! Every week I seem to inch closer and closer to this number, but I always - without fail - miss it by a ruler. Maybe I have pyschologically doomed myself from ever reaching 60, 70 or 80 (I won't even go near 100) because they seem too incomprehensible to me at times. I have myself convinced that this week will be the magic week where I leap over the 60 mile marker with a blindfold on. I will not think about it or expend valuable amounts of energy on a number - I will just run it. I have to or I am going to go crazy. Part of my problem is that I usually end up taking one rest day and I rarely double. Since I like the rest day - or at least the option of one - I am going to build doubles into my schedule; sprinkle a few 3-4 milers in here and there.

Other than my ambitious chase after a number, I have been keeping busy with school, the magazine, and a 20 page paper that is about 7 months late. I am the queen procrastinator, but last year I buried myself under teaching 3 days/week, taking 12 hours of graduate work, and working 40-50 hours/week at a job that I quit fairly early in the summer. The consequence of this overload was my inability to complete (or even start) this paper. I love to research and take notes, but I develop clinical issues with writer's block. I feel energized and excited to undertake my current topic, but I have been staring at a semi-blank screen for hours. Well - I have the beginnings of an introduction and a giant outline, but outlines tend to feel oppressive and constricting to me.

I am excited about school, but - as usual - I am worried that I am not going to be able to handle the load in addition to the magazine. I usually subtract running from the equation, but I am unwilling to give it up for school this go-around. It keeps me sane, and I think it is extremely important to feed our sanity instead of our frequent insanities. I am not making a lot of sense (as usual), but I think other runners will be able to interpret perfectly what I am trying to say.

The highlight of my week: I ran 16 miles yesterday at 7:02 pace. I keep trying to convince myself that the route I ran was short, but I really do not think it was - and if it was, it was only short by less than a half mile. I clocked a few splits and most of them were sub 7:00- including a 6:52 at mile 13. That makes me feel somewhat confident heading into another marathon this spring. However, self-doubt can be brutal at times.

I need to go run now - especially if I intend to FINALLY run 60 miles this week!

Posted by bridget at 05:37 PM | Comments (3)