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October 09, 2004
Deja Vu: Tears in Boston, Tears in Chicago
Before I share my tears today, I want to rewind to Boston 2002. When I first transfered to BC my sophomore year, I had one goal in mind: to qualify for the Boston Marathon my senior year. I had always had a strange love affair with Heartbreak Hill - the magic, the mystery, the fear - the 20 - 21st mile in Newton on Commonwealth Ave. Ironically, when I moved to Boston, I rented a room from a great Irish family on the TOP of heartbreak hill. For three years, I finished every run up the hill.
I qualified for Boston in the Summer of 2001. For the rest of 2001 and into 2002, I trained with one goal in mind: Boston. I registered early and my older sister, KT, booked a flight just as early as I registered! KT has always been a BIG supporter of my adventures. She is 5 years older than me and she is pretty much everyone's ideal of the perfect older sister. She never missed a grade school basketball game, a summer track meet, or a cross country race - even in the freezing rain and the ice-cold snow. KT also took care of my twin sister and me when our parents got divorced . . . she has always been there for us.
So when I got injured 6 weeks before Boston and ended up hopping on crutches, I called KT and told her she didn't have to come; 6 weeks later she was in Boston. We pulled an all-nighter Sunday before the race - she stayed up and kept me company as I put the finishing touches on my senior thesis (what we now refer to as "thesis monday"). I still owe her a million thanks for putting up with my anxiety and roller coaster emotions as I finished a year's worth of writing, researching and thinking - 100 pages exactly. About an hour before the race, we jumped on the C line and ran to a Kinkos on Beacon Street. We got my thesis bound and ready to hand in. We made it back in time to stand atop Heartbreak Hill and cheer on every single runner.
But the Saturday before the race, KT went to the EXPO with me and gently rested her hand on my shoulder as I handed my number BACK to the Boston Marathon race officials and filled out a deferral form (by the way, I have yet to run Boston!!). I stood there & cried - and limped around the EXPO.
This afternoon I decided to drive to McCormick Place in Chicago to at least pick up what has now become an $80.00 race t-shirt! B. was at work so I called KT. We journeyed there together and I really thought I was going to be okay . . . until I had to hand back to the race officials my competitive start number. I turned away, looked at KT, and broke down into tears. She simply hugged me - which means a lot more than words right now.
B. took a cab over too - and handed in his number as well (he hurt his hip). He seems to be handling this much better than me, but I am afraid that he might be concealing his sadness because he is worried about me. I think I will open a bottle of wine for him when he gets home (it was also two years ago from today that we shared our first "real" date!!!!).
Anyway, I am really sad. My feet hurt (and I do not have boots for either of them....I have an HMO plan and have had to wait over 7 weeks to get into a doctor...soooooo frustrating!). I don't think I will cry again until tomorrow.....I might try to meet KT in Boys Town to cheer on the runners (just like we did in Boston).
I don't know if you read these blogs, KT, but if you do, THANK YOU so much for being there today!!!!
Posted by bridget at October 9, 2004 07:38 PM