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October 29, 2004

Not too much to say . . .

Well, it's Friday - and that's the most exciting thing that I have to say! I have only worked out twice this week, but I plan to hit the gym tonight, twice tomorrow and twice on Sunday. It's a little overkill, but I am feeling "blah," and the 9 servings of starbursts jelly beans that I killed off in one night are not helping my psyche!! Ah well. I will have my energy reserves to run 5 marathons back-to-back-to-back when I make my comeback!! I am thinking positive thoughts :)

My dog is acting hilariously goofy right now! I have a one-year-old Vizsla and he is absolutely adorable - and super hyper. He is prancing around the room with a miniature tire around his nose. After a few minutes, he brings the tire to me so I can throw it back on the floor. I love this game! I miss running with him :(

Actually, I do have a lot to say today. I met with our 1st ward Alderman this afternoon to talk about a project that I am doing for one of my graduate classes. I live in a pretty interesting area in Chicago, but it is quickly gentrifying. So I have decided to focus my semester's project on this issue, and specifically on my neighborhood. The Alderman was helpful and I think we both acknowledge the intricate complexities of this issue. I plan to become more active in my community too - I hate to see people displaced and I intend to jump on board and fight it.

I am getting pumped for NOVEMBER 2! VOTE!

Posted by bridget at 04:59 PM | Comments (0)

October 25, 2004

Thank You :)

I just wanted to write an entry to thank everyone who posted a comment on my last entry. I loved Alison's comment: while she was injured she also decided to "take a day off from being injured." That beautifully captures how I felt when I got ridiculously anxious the other day. I need to pour that energy into cross training before I really go nuts. Does anyone else have "issues" with trying to cross train for more than an hour a day, or is it just me? I think I have a hard time, too, because I cannot go "easy" on a bike. I am always pretending to ride like Lance Armstrong up a steep mountain . . . I crank up the resistance and wipe myself out after 40 minutes *sigh*. If I can learn to take it easy, I might successfully cross train for 7 days/week instead of the 3 I did last week. eeeekkkks!

Anyway, this community is wonderful, amazing, talented, driven, encouraging, and compassionate. I am glad that I let off a little steam on my last post. I feel a little better today :)

Posted by bridget at 07:45 AM | Comments (0)

October 24, 2004

And The Beat Goes on . . .

It's Sunday morning and I am enjoying coffee with my twin sister, A. She is being very funny and entertaining; we need to hang out more often. She lives a mile away, which never seemed like a great distance to travel, but suddenly a mile feels like an eternity. That was a little hyperbolic, but a mile does feel long.

I slipped into a long blog silence - a hibernation of some kind. I wish I could announce to all of my friends that I am back up and running, but I continue to be down for the count - and things continue to get more difficult mentally and emotionally. I have quit counting the weeks because they have metamorphosed into months. I am starting to feel that fear that whispers, "You will never run again, but if you do, you will never be fast." Ah, this is hard.

I did try to run yesterday - STUPID, I know. But I couldn't take it anymore. I clipped through the first mile in 7:00, the second in 6:50 and the final in 6:40. My left foot killed when I stopped. I also pulled a muscle in my leg - I deserved that extra little pull for stupidity. I think I got to the point where I needed to prove to myself that I could still run a 7:00 minute mile, BUT, I had to work pretty darn hard, and it doesn't help that I took 4 days off from biking this week - the routine is terribly monotnous.

I am definitely feeling the blues and I hate to come on here and depress everyone with my melancholy. I was sooooo upbeat for the longest time, and I was really able to keep things in perspective. But that optimistic perspetive is dwindling and fading as more time passes. And, of course, it doesn't help that I set myself back another few weeks. I just find it hard to believe that I am still injured after NOT running for 9-10 weeks.

Posted by bridget at 10:09 AM | Comments (0)

October 15, 2004

{{{ SCREAM }}}

Can you hear me screaming yet? I feel like the painting itself: mouth wide open in a crooked oval, hands anxiously hiding my ears, eyes and foreard wrinkled in angst - SCREAM! Okay, I feel better now :) I was going to compose this long, elaborate race report on the marathon, but I am feeling a little non-energetic at the moment, so I will spare you a long winded report and just capture a few moments.

B., our dog, and a few of our friends piled into our purple mini-van and drove to Adams and Ashland - near the 14.5 - 15 mile point. Everyone woke up late so I was worried that we were going to miss the elite runners - and it doesn't help that our little purple mobile belches smoke as it strolls down the road (we inherited the mini-van from B's mom!).

With about 5 minutes to spare, we made it to the marker in time before Evans Rutto swam past us. He looked so smooth and in control that it actually did not look like he was moving that fast! Our Chicago "favorite son," Khalid K., was struggling to hang on when he went by. Then the women came and Dita looked awesome. It was also very cool to cheer on Jenny Spangler, Blake Russell, and Marla Runyan. I met Jenny through her running club, and she is the loveliest person! She blends in with any crowd and her humility and modesty are incredible. She takes the time to speak with everyone she meets and she always asks you about your own training. I cannot wait until she dips under 2:30 again!

A lot of my friends raced VERY well! Two girls on our Chicago team ran 3:16 and one ran 2:51 (holy cow!). Some of my former GBTC teammates rocked as well. One man ran 2:22 and another ran 2:32 - crazy! I think it goes without saying that I wish I could have been in the race on Sunday.

I have another doctor's visit today. I am sort of growing tired of these fractures. The other foot is going downhill while the primary fracture foot is still super sensitive. I have been taking extra calcium and eating lots of protein - and I have not been running. But my feet are not getting any better. I think I am going on 7 or 8 weeks of no running - HELP. I am growing desperate. I am also losing my motivation to bike :( I am in a rut.

Posted by bridget at 11:35 AM | Comments (0)

October 09, 2004

Deja Vu: Tears in Boston, Tears in Chicago

Before I share my tears today, I want to rewind to Boston 2002. When I first transfered to BC my sophomore year, I had one goal in mind: to qualify for the Boston Marathon my senior year. I had always had a strange love affair with Heartbreak Hill - the magic, the mystery, the fear - the 20 - 21st mile in Newton on Commonwealth Ave. Ironically, when I moved to Boston, I rented a room from a great Irish family on the TOP of heartbreak hill. For three years, I finished every run up the hill.

I qualified for Boston in the Summer of 2001. For the rest of 2001 and into 2002, I trained with one goal in mind: Boston. I registered early and my older sister, KT, booked a flight just as early as I registered! KT has always been a BIG supporter of my adventures. She is 5 years older than me and she is pretty much everyone's ideal of the perfect older sister. She never missed a grade school basketball game, a summer track meet, or a cross country race - even in the freezing rain and the ice-cold snow. KT also took care of my twin sister and me when our parents got divorced . . . she has always been there for us.

So when I got injured 6 weeks before Boston and ended up hopping on crutches, I called KT and told her she didn't have to come; 6 weeks later she was in Boston. We pulled an all-nighter Sunday before the race - she stayed up and kept me company as I put the finishing touches on my senior thesis (what we now refer to as "thesis monday"). I still owe her a million thanks for putting up with my anxiety and roller coaster emotions as I finished a year's worth of writing, researching and thinking - 100 pages exactly. About an hour before the race, we jumped on the C line and ran to a Kinkos on Beacon Street. We got my thesis bound and ready to hand in. We made it back in time to stand atop Heartbreak Hill and cheer on every single runner.

But the Saturday before the race, KT went to the EXPO with me and gently rested her hand on my shoulder as I handed my number BACK to the Boston Marathon race officials and filled out a deferral form (by the way, I have yet to run Boston!!). I stood there & cried - and limped around the EXPO.

This afternoon I decided to drive to McCormick Place in Chicago to at least pick up what has now become an $80.00 race t-shirt! B. was at work so I called KT. We journeyed there together and I really thought I was going to be okay . . . until I had to hand back to the race officials my competitive start number. I turned away, looked at KT, and broke down into tears. She simply hugged me - which means a lot more than words right now.

B. took a cab over too - and handed in his number as well (he hurt his hip). He seems to be handling this much better than me, but I am afraid that he might be concealing his sadness because he is worried about me. I think I will open a bottle of wine for him when he gets home (it was also two years ago from today that we shared our first "real" date!!!!).

Anyway, I am really sad. My feet hurt (and I do not have boots for either of them....I have an HMO plan and have had to wait over 7 weeks to get into a doctor...soooooo frustrating!). I don't think I will cry again until tomorrow.....I might try to meet KT in Boys Town to cheer on the runners (just like we did in Boston).

I don't know if you read these blogs, KT, but if you do, THANK YOU so much for being there today!!!!

Posted by bridget at 07:38 PM | Comments (0)

October 08, 2004

The Running Goddesses Have Cursed Me :(

I hate to jump the gun and speculate, but I think I just earned myself a stress fracture in the metatarsals on the left foot. I am limping again, but on the other leg and the pain is the exact same spot as the confirmed stress fracture in my right foot. I am beyond devastated right now....I cannot make any sense of this, though. How do I get another fracture when I have not been running for 6 weeks???

I am thinking that I was doomed long ago and now I am paying big time for it (when I was finally super healthy everything started to fall apart). I am starting to get antsy---I just want to RUN. I have a feeling I am looking at more than another 6 weeks of inaction. Can people really put up with these blogs with no running for so long???

It's raining outside - which sort of captures how I am feeling right now.

Posted by bridget at 02:10 PM | Comments (0)

October 07, 2004

6 weeks down

So it has been six weeks since I first noticed the crack in my foot. The pain is really weird - it no longer hurts along the metatarsals, but on the top of my foot (where there is still a visible pool of swelling). Anyway, because my limp has subsided and it has been six weeks since I last graced the surface of Chicago's lovely concrete grounds, I decided to "test" my foot this morning. One word: OUCH!

After about 8 minutes of trotting, I gave up. I realized that my foot was probably only about 50% healed and that I am looking at another 6 weeks on the bench. I am trying to be realistic. The funny/strange thing now is that my "good" foot is experiencing the same pain along the metatarsals that the bad foot is still suffering from. Could it be phantom pain? Did it travel over there so the other foot wouldn't feel left out? I have no idea....but they're communicating to each other and I have not been invited into the conversation! HELP!

I guess it's back to the bike for the next 6 weeks and even more weight training - which I am learning to enjoy!

The marathon is upon us...I will be sure to write a lengthy report on Sunday afternoon!!!!! I cannot wait to cheer everyone on:)

Posted by bridget at 09:38 PM | Comments (0)

October 04, 2004

Spinning Dizzy

I think consuming too many candy corns has me in a tizzy (whatever that means!). The past few entries I have mentioned that I have been cycling. I now have 24 hour access to a Lemond spin bike. B. turned 30 last week and as a 30th b-day gift to himself, he bought a spin bike (he has been saving for quite a while for this "little" expenditure....I promised it would not function as a clothes drying rack). Anyway, I have been using it a lot - but it is admittedly hard to push myself that hard 7 days/wk. So I have settled for 3-5 days as I enjoy my sabbatical from running.

Today I cranked up the "electronica" dance music and pretended to be Lance Armstrong for 70 minutes. The neighbors already think I am crazy so I was not particularly worried about the shaking house. It felt awesome to SPIN!! I wish I could muster up the motivation and energy to do it everyday :)

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been cheering me on lately! I love this community of bloggers that we have formed and it always feels good to "preach to the choir." Everyone here has suffered through their share of injuries and set backs. I finally feel like I have learned to handle my non-running state with a bit of grace . . . and a sense of humor!

I am gettting excited about Chicago this weekend! I almost forgot that my good friend and her boyfriend from GBTC will be staying with B. and me. I cannot wait. J. is a 2:52 marathoner and one of the most humble and balanced women that I know. I look forward to taking her on a little tour of Chi-town.

I am procrastinating. Back to the books.

Posted by bridget at 08:02 PM | Comments (0)

October 03, 2004

Sweet Temptation

I decided to flee the city yesterday and head out 30 miles to visit my mom. On my way "home," I listened to AM 1000: ESPN. ESPN hosted a two hour radio show on the LaSalle BanK Chicago Marathon. Race director Cary Pinkowski was a guest, along with Hal Higdon and Jenny Spangler. Even though I am out of this year's race, I still felt the butterflies fluttering inside my stomach. I admit that I am a bit sad, but there is absolutely nothing I can do to make my injury heal; that said, I am going to hit the EXPO on Friday and pick up my race t-shirt (the most expensive race shirt I will have ever owned without actually running the race!).

Yesterday was such a lovely day that I decided to take a walk. I can easily walk a few miles on my foot - I just cannot slam down three times my body weight, which is what running does to it. I started to trace one of my old - my very first, actually - running routes. It is exactly 3 miles and it weaves in and out of neighborhoods in an out and back sort of way. I used to run this route everyday my senior year in high school - even in the dead of the winter (I feel a rush of nostalgia coming on). I think I felt a tear creep out of my eye. The trees were changing color, the temperature hovered in the mid fifties and I could think of nothing more that I wanted to do than RUN. I thought of "testing" my injury with a few steps forward, but then put on my logic cap and decided against it.

I guess it's back to the bike and the weights tonight!!

By the way, I have read numerous blogs about candy corn. I swear by the stuff and I have been known to consume an 8 serving bag in one day. I try to restrain my consumption of the stuff, but I do not have the "will power" necessary. I justify it by saying, "the pumpkins and chocolate candy corns only come out once a year!" Yeah. I think my skin might turn orange from excessive eating of candy corn. How sad.

Posted by bridget at 05:49 PM | Comments (0)