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September 02, 2004
Putting things in perspective
First, I think it is totally awesome that my mom and sister, Colleen, responded to my last post. I honestly did not know if my family read this crazy blog. My mom has seen me go through a dozen ups and downs over the years. My senior year in college, six weeks before the Boston Marathon, I was completing a 22 mile run up heartbreak hill and my leg collapsed underneath me. Luckily, I lived on the top of the hill so I did not have to crawl too far. I remember calling my mom in hysterics and crying. Although 1,000 miles separated us, I felt like she was always nearby. She let me cry and get angry; she remained calm when I could not. That injury was extremely mysterious - an MRI and countless x-rays showed that my bones were solid. But I did not run a step for 12 weeks. I have a feeling this is going to progress into another long lay-off, but I am pretty confident that I will be able to cross-train next week.
Anyway, I have been pondering this whole injury bit and I realize that this time around, I am not nearly as hysterical or upset. Maybe my life encompasses more than simply running, or maybe I have just learned that bumps in the road are part of the human experience and I accept them when they come. But I think my "okay-ness" with all of this stems from a deeper area in my heart and subconscious.
Alison posted a while back about Margaret Bradley, the 24 year old runner and medical student who died while running/hiking in the Grand Canyon. Margaret was a dear and precious friend of mine. We shared a connection to both the greater boston track club and universal sole in chicago. When I first met her, I immediately sensed an energy and insatiable love and passion for running in her. Her eyes lit up whenever someone mentioned training or Deena Drossin. I truly believe that she would have qualified for the 2008 marathon trials. Anyone who can toss in 100 mile weeks in the middle of medical school and volunteer work is bound to succeed. But maybe it was too much? I am not sure. I think as runners we are used to pushing the limits and boundaries and somewhere along the line, we lose sight of those boundaries.
I have been speaking with Mrs. Bradley on a fairly regualr basis - she is a lovely and warm woman (she reminds me a lot of my own mom!) - and our conversations remind me of what is important in life. I cannot imagine the pain, anger and deep sadness that a parent must feel when he/she loses a child. I sense the suffering and gap left in Margaret's mom's heart. The last time we talked, we talked about finding a balance in our lives. We can strive to run well, but it must not consume us. I don't think that means that we should be content with mediocrity, but we have to accept our physical limitations and we have to keep our lives multidimensional because we do not know when our time will expire.
I get so sad when I think about Margaret - I keep waiting for her to come back to Chicago and dive into the school year. A part of me cannot accept her death in light of its tragic ending. But I sit here somewhat comforted by the fact that her spirit continues to thrive and live on in all of us who loved her.
A stress fracture is not that big of a deal. I can use this time to explore other activities and maybe even do a little extra reading and writing on the side to compliment my grad. school work!
Posted by bridget at September 2, 2004 09:35 PM