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May 09, 2006
Guilt
Right now I have an overwhelming sense of guilt. An ex-boyfriend used to call this his Catholic Guilt, but I'm not Catholic, so that name doesn't refer to me. There really isn't anything to feel guilty about, but I still do. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty for saying no to something you really don't want to do. The thing is, I feel like I hurt that person's feelings; but saying yes, and then saying no later would make me feel even more guilty. Saying yes would have started something that would probably lead me down a long road that I would continue to feel guilty about saying no at some point.
So this afternoon was a treadmill run. It was a little bit different in that I was hooked up to the computer by leads. There were some problems with "noise", so they went to fix that. Instead of standing around while they worked on the problem, I ran. Like yesterday, I felt better as my body warmed up. It ended up being seven miles on the treadmill, very easy. For, oh, about a nanosecond, I thought about going out to run some more. Then I thought better of it. My body definitely needs to recover and running longer today would only delay that. Right now I'm at a point that feels about normal, going out to do more would just put me in a hole.
I was going to take tomorrow off from running and swim instead, but since my body is feeling better, I think that I will run. It has to be in the morning since we have family dinner plans tomorrow night. Going first thing in the morning will be fine since it has to be very easy since my body isn't awake yet and it gives me 36 hours between running and Thursday's workout.
Posted by Blondie at May 9, 2006 06:42 PM
Comments
I have a hard time saying "no," but sometimes we just have to - usually our gut is telling us what to do (we just have to listen).
Thanks for the word on the stick and the link to the foam roller. I think I am going to purchase both - my body is beat up and I can't afford a massage right now so the stick and the roller seem like logical substitutes :)
It sounds like your body is recovering well :)
Posted by: bridget at May 10, 2006 07:56 PM
wow - this post hit home. i am currently (and, in fact, continually) struggling with the guilt of saying "no." (and yes, i was raised catholic but my mom assures me that this guilt thing crosses all religious and cultural boundaries.) i think maybe it boils down to the difference between potentially disappointing someone else, and definitely disappointing yourself. the "yes" is good for them - the "no" is good for you. maybe we need to retrain ourselves to understand that there's nothing wrong with saying "no."
Posted by: caroline at May 11, 2006 10:57 AM
The kinder thing to do is always to say, "no," up front. Good for you for doing so and not leading someone on.
RE: your race: I know you're disappointed/frustrated, but I, for one, am seriously impressed that you fell apart so badly yet still gutted out a time just 18 seconds slower than your p.r.
Posted by: alweiss at May 11, 2006 12:53 PM