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December 21, 2004
Keeping Spirits Up
First I want to thank everyone for thinking about my mother today during her surgery. It probably does not need to be stated, but I was a basketcase all day at work. My 8 AM meeting did not show up until 9 AM which did not help matters any. The family lives within walking distance of the school and could not even make it close to on time! The only good thing about them being so terribly late is that it took up a lot of time. I called my dad around 11 because I hadn't heard from him yet. At that time mom was still in surgery and he was in the waiting area.
Since my school is for students who have been expelled from public schools, one of the required components is a social skills class. The responsibility for these classes falls on us guidance counselors. A huge problem with these classes is that the students do not care and do not wish to change their ways. The class that I had this afternoon is a particularly difficult class and does not see the point in the material. Anyway, while I was trying to teach them about making better decisions my cell phone started buzzing. I ran out of the room leaving the other two teachers in the room. My father told me that things did not go as well as hoped. Mom was in recovery and she was still asleep but it had spread into the lymph nodes. He didn't know much else and had to make some other calls. The teachers could tell by my facial expressions that the news on the phone was not good. I stayed because there was nothing that I could do yet. As soon as the class was over I went into my office, closed the door, put my head down and started to cry. I stayed in there until dismissal.
I went downstairs to do my dismissal duty, returning items collected during searches to the students. I was supposed to fill in for a colleague in a meeting that had supposedly cancelled, but then showed up. I told the school nurse who was concerned that there was no way I could do the meeting. She told my administrator that I could not do it. At first some people thought that I meant that I had a duty to do and someone could fill in, then they saw my red eyes. I gave the confiscated items back to the students and my supervisor came and told me that I could leave and go be with my mom or go upstairs to be alone if that was what I wanted.
I went upstairs and cried some more. Then I called my dad to try to get some more information. He still didn't know too much. He said that she was going to have to spend the night in the hospital and he would call me back when he knew more. Shortly later he called and told me what room she was in and I told him that I would be there soon. My supervisors were very considerate in letting me go. When I submitted to take tomorrow afternoon off, I was given a hard time. When I got there, my mom was in better spirits than I thought she might be. I stayed there with her and my father for about an hour and a half before heading home.
When I got home I headed out for my run. I knew that it was not going to be pretty because my stomach felt really full of air. It was much warmer today than yesterday. I am not sure why I am always so cold, but I am always the coldest one in the group. Anyhow, I digress. This afternoon I really needed the run. The fresh air and the private time really helped me feel much better about everything that is happening. Even if I was burpy and gasey. After running I went to the gym and rode the bike for 40 minutes and lifted.
I passed my dad on the way home. He came back to tell me that he was heading back to the hospital and wanted to know if I wanted to come with him. I would have, but I was starving and needed to eat. To top off the terrible day, as he was leaving the hospital tonight he was rear ended in their new car. My parents bought this car this summer. He said that it's going to need a new bumper. He was sitting at a stop sign waiting to go and some woman drove into the back of the car! He did get her insurance information, so her insurance company will be buying the new bumper.
Tomorrow I am going into work in the morning and leaving at 11. My mom is supposed to be released around lunch time. I am still going for my massage tomorrow afternoon. This is a Christmas present to myself and is much needed. I have a tendency to carry all of my stress in my neck and shoulders and can feel the tightness already. My brother is coming home tomorrow instead of Thursday as planned. I think that we will know some more tomorrow after my mom sees the doctor again. I know that I need to keep my spirits up and be strong at home.
Posted by Blondie at December 21, 2004 07:49 PM
Comments
I don't know what to say and I know that words are pretty empty at times like these. I am so sorry that things did not go well with your mom - I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. In the meantime, do the best that you can to keep yourself warm and healthy :) I'll be thinking about you. Sending you hugs . . .
Posted by: bridget at December 21, 2004 08:46 PM
Sorry to hear the news about your mom. As your title suggests though, I hope you and your family can keep your mom's spirits up! I'll be thinking of you guys...
Posted by: Beth at December 21, 2004 08:52 PM
So sorry for the news today. Thinking of you and your family.
Posted by: Audrey at December 21, 2004 09:06 PM