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August 2, 2008
Steelhead Disaster!
OH MY.
Hmm...where shall we begin?
First off - I've just recently decided that anything longer than an Olympic distance race is just ludicrous. And in fact, 70.3 and I are officially divorced.
Can I end this blog entry here? :)
Okay, okay. I guess not.
So today started off well enough. We got to the race site, I did my thing in transition and then we started the 1.2 mile walk to the swim start down the beach. As we were walking I was noticing several things. First - the water. It was hard not to notice. Because it was ANGRY water. It was a pretty windy morning and the water was reacting. Pretty big waves for a lake if you ask me. And a lot of chop. I was trying to swallow my fears. I remember how hard swimming in Tampa Bay was for me this year at St. Anthony's and trust me when I say - this water was looking MUCH worse. But I kept telling myself I would get through this. YOU CAN DO THIS.
Just as we got down to the start and I started putting on my wetsuit they called the swim. CANCELLED. I was a little surprised to tell you the truth. Rumor was they were just going to delay the start until the wind died down some but I guess they just decided to chop the whole thing.
And instantly I was disappointed. I'm here to tell you that even us non-swimmers like the swim in triathlon. That's why we do it instead of duathlon. And even though I stand to benefit from an extra run and no swim, I'm still not a huge fan of it. And besides, my swimming has come a long way and although it's still my weakness it's less of a weakness for me as it is for some others.
Anyway, instead it was a 2 mile run. And let me tell you - mass hysteria ensued. I give the race directors A LOT of credit for moving 2500 people about 2 miles in the opposite direction with a stop in transition for everyone and starting the race only 1 hour later. Now that is a true miracle.
We still started in our waves. And the first run was fine for me. Nothing special and then onto the bike it was.
On the bike and I was feeling...um...okay. I usually feel quite good on the bike. But it was windy and I chalked up my tired legs to pushing hard into the wind for the first 10 miles or so. Truthfully I still rode well. The bike was a good 1-2 miles short (they had to change the bike course slightly to avoid the traffic from the 1st run) but I still rode 2:24-2:25. I guess the full distance would have been more like 2:30-2:32 which would have been a big PR on this course on a very windy day.
I did very well with my nutrition so I don't think lack of kcals/fluid was the cause of my impending demise.
But oh what a demise it was.
I started the half marathon feeling BAD. My legs were just...BAD. I feel like there should be some other good way to explain it but really there isn't. I told myself to get through a few miles and see how I felt.
But a few miles later I only felt worse.
My big goal for this race was to qualify for Clearwater so I talked myself into at least finishing because you never know. At this point I was in 2nd place in my AG and 1st place was my teammate Kim who I knew didn't want a Clearwater slot. I knew even if I finished 4th or 5th or 6th I still had a shot because sometimes the slots fall down pretty far. But I kid you not, by mile 5 I seriously didn't know if I could run another step.
I know that sounds really dramatic but my body was truly shutting down. My legs just felt awful, dead, tired, BADDDDD!!
And so I dropped out.
Quite obviously I was physically depleted and at that point, mentally depleted as well. You can talk yourself through a lot but another 8 miles was not in the cards for me today.
Of course nobody likes to to DNF. I've dropped out of only 1 other race in my life - the Columbus Marathon in 2004. It was the same sort of situation - legs that would not go despite all the mental tricks I could muster.
Disappointing to say the least. Disappointing to DNF. Disappointing to not qualify for Clearwater. Disappointing to work really hard for this day and things to go all wrong.
But that's the way sport goes 'eh? I know it is. I know everyone has a bad day and truly I know the sign of a good athlete is to pick up ASAP and move on.
There were definitely some tears after the race. O saw me drop and immediately came to my rescue. I laid on the grass some and then after some ice and Gatorade felt okay to get up. Or not. My legs are just utterly destroyed.
But we made it and I insisted on walking the 2-3 miles back to the finish line (BAD MISTAKE). Along the way I had to stop several times and sit down. Each of which was accompanied by a crying break. I think mostly I was just sad and really hungry at that point. And really just wanting to get to a shower and to lay down for a long time.
But we finally made it. I collected my stuff in transition and we got back to the hotel for food and an ice bath and a hot shower and a lot of stretching and massage in an attempt to revive my legs.
And now I've moved on. I gave myself until 3:30 pm to mope (and MOPE I did!) and then that was it.
Now I'm just angry. Angry at that DANG 70.3 distance that has fooled me every time I attempted it. I immediately decided I never wanted to do another again. And then I was looking on the internet for WHICH one I would do next year. :) Have to keep trying right? :)
So what went wrong today? Well, still have to talk with coach on that one. But I know my body and I know myself and this is at least part of, if not all of it - I'm tired. I've been going hard since January, racing since April, and haven't taken a break in the mean time.
I could start to feel that while my fitness is making huge gains, my legs were just not recovering very well for the past couple weeks. But I had myself convinced that a nice taper would do the trick.
The taper certainly helped but I need more than a few easy days to recover from this! I had fully planned on take a VERY easy week after Steelhead and then slowly easing back into things since my next race isn't until October now. I knew I would need a break sooner or later. Looks like that sooner happened about a week too early though! :)
Such is life. I will be fine. I will talk to coach. I will take a rest. I will recharge. I will renew and then I will make an assault on my final races which are all THANKFULLY Olympic distance. :) And I will learn that next year I need to plan my races accordingly for what my body can handle. I'm not sure yet if that is going to include a 70.3 or two but fear not, I have not given up on that distance just yet. Divorce proceedings have been put on hold for now... :)
So there you have it! Otherwise it was a good day. I met Kerri! And so many of my teammates had wonderful days, Kim included. Poor Kim had to hear my sob story as we picked up our stuff in transition and she provided (another) shoulder to cry on. Good thing since O's shoulder was already pretty wet. :)
Some more pictures - these from Friday when the water was like glass. O and I having fun in the water!
So tomorrow is a new day. A few weeks to recover. And then to start again. I have never, ever lacked for mental motivation and the internal desire to continue to push and push and push. But what I have come to realize over many years of being an endurance athlete is that my body cannot keep up with my desire. It needs more down time than my mind. And so that's what it will get. But it should be prepared then for what my mind will have in store for it once it feels better. Nothing like a failure to TRULY motivate me to succeed at the next given opportunity!
Posted by beth at August 2, 2008 8:24 PM
Comments
In my defense on that last picture, it was REALLY bright!!!
Good job and fighting the good fight and trying your best today!!! That's all that you can ever be asked to do. Look out Dallas and Tempe!
Posted by: O at August 2, 2008 9:22 PM
Oh Beth - I don't think you failed! Quite the opposite - it took SO MUCH COURAGE for you to do what you did! Sometimes we have our "on" days - everything works well, we practically float a few feet off the ground, and our effort seems, well - effortless. And then others - well, they are truly difficult. It took so much courage for you to stop - to listen to your body and do the right thing... even though your mind kept pushing. I am SO PROUD of you - you have what it takes to do anything you want. And today, you listened to your body when you knew that something wasn't right.
You are so young... The Half IM distance stuff will ALWAYS be there. And you have been working SO HARD this season. Give yourself time to be upset, and then Onwards and Upwards... :) Plus - this will make you that much MORE fierce for every Olympic distance you're doing. yikes! I am happy that we're NOT racing!
I am so proud of you! What you did was not easy...
Posted by: marit c-l at August 3, 2008 3:09 AM
Beth!!! Yikes! Hard day, challenging for sure!! Good days & bad days, everyone has them, it is what you do now that will make you better... It was one lousy ugly day and now it is time to pick up the pieces of pain and frustration and get it back! You got a ton of fuel for the next race now, all the pain and tears and junk from this will be yours to use as motivation!! I agree with Marit, you have what it takes to do anything you want & you still have loads of opportunities to do it! I am proud of you too...
Posted by: breewee at August 3, 2008 3:43 AM
Marit put it perfectly. I am just so impressed with how well you know yourself. As my grandmother would say, "She's a tough cookie, eh?" (And that was her number 1 compliment.) Have a safe trip back. (Great swim photos...)
-Danielle
Posted by: Danielle at August 3, 2008 7:48 AM
Beth:
Marit put it pefectly. I am so impressed with you and how well you know yourself. Safe travels back.
-Danielle
Posted by: Danielle at August 3, 2008 7:49 AM
Get your rest and recharge your body - you're going to KILL BOUS and Dallas! I've divorced the 70.3 :) But I don't think you should just yet. You've had a LONG season already but if you take some downtime right now you will finish out super strong. I'm rooting for you.
Posted by: Bri Gaal at August 3, 2008 7:59 AM
Beth I am so sorry about your DNF!! I know how hard a decision it must have been. But I also know it was the right one. You are going to be so awesome in your next two races, who needs 70.3?! Enjoy the rest, it will be very well deserved.
Posted by: barb at August 3, 2008 8:59 AM
Hey Beth! Oh, I was sorry to hear about your race as I kept checking in on you, but you were SMART and you have had a super super season so far, that 1 minor race will not change that! GET SOME rest and enjoy the R&R!! You earned it! You'll be right back - after some good pizza and pop! :) ha!
Posted by: Jennifer Harrison at August 3, 2008 11:44 AM
Hey Beth! Oh, I was sorry to hear about your race as I kept checking in on you, but you were SMART and you have had a super super season so far, that 1 minor race will not change that! GET SOME rest and enjoy the R&R!! You earned it! You'll be right back - after some good pizza and pop! :) ha!
Posted by: Jennifer Harrison at August 3, 2008 11:44 AM
Jen Harrison is right about the good pizza and pop....On the way back from the race to the hotel, we stopped at a Little Caesar's and got a "Hot 'n Ready" pizza, Crazy Bread, and a 2-Liter of Diet Pepsi. It was all gone within a matter of hours!
Posted by: O at August 3, 2008 12:18 PM
Oh Beth, I know you must be sad about it, but you're right, get it out and move on. It happens, at some point to everyone. I did my first DNF this year.. it was in a half too. You know what? 70.3s suck. I will divorce them with you.
After you come do Honu 70.3 in HI next May, OK ? ;) Bree and I would love to have you and O out there.. maybe you could take your revenge on the Kona course?
Hope you recover well.
RR
Posted by: Rachel at August 3, 2008 2:08 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your DNF. You've had an awesome season so far--more great races already than most people have in a full year. And more great races to come. If you were feeling that awful, it was probably smart to stop.
I don't like 70.3s either. Short and fast is the way to go :)
Posted by: maija at August 3, 2008 3:12 PM
You can't be 'on" every race. It's just impossiable (although as competitive freaks we would like to be!). Give yourself a break, and a well deserved rest. You've had so many amazing races this season Beth, your attitude and enthuasium never ceases to impress me! So, don't worry about it, move on and I'll be here if you need me ok. Hope you and O are having fun and enjoyed the game today.
Kim
Posted by: Kim at August 3, 2008 8:19 PM
hey beth. i'm sorry you had such a crappy day :( feel better toots and rest up for the next battle!!!
Posted by: Audrey at August 3, 2008 9:50 PM
Awww! Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sorry you had a bad day but I'm sure it will soon be canceled out by a much better one!
Posted by: Becky at August 4, 2008 11:46 AM
sorry for your bad race, but i will always believe in you....
Posted by: Kranky C Dale at August 4, 2008 11:48 AM
I just did my first 70.3 at Rhode Island... and right before the race I decided to "not race it", but instead enjoy it and stay within myself the whole time. My goal was Sub 5; instead I finished with a 5:47. Had I "raced it" from the start, I may not have finished either. Perhaps your next 70.3 take it easy and just enjoy it. Whatever time you finish it'll be a PR. Go for a Clearwater spot after your third or fourth HIM distance. You are setting the bar to high too soon. Easy does it. Happy Training.
Posted by: Bobby at August 12, 2008 9:16 AM